TAB's

Well, it has been quite a few weeks since posting my glorious New Year's Resolutions.  Glorious?  Only in light of what the last few weeks have been. 

I was out sledding on January 4, having a great time with the family and friends, when an unasked for little slice of life tapped me on the shoulder.  "What?", I said.  "You will have a reality realignment.", it said.  "Again?", "Yes, again.".  Within 24 hours I was in the ER for the worst headache of my life, and constant nausea and vomiting.  Yahoo.  I went in style, in my pajamas and fuzzy couch potato fleece.  And boots, of course.  After ruling out anything truly heinous they sent me home with powerful meds.  These were followed by more meds later in the week, and an extremely slow recovery from a "pinched nerve".  C-1 is where the skull rests on the spine.  C-2 is the pivot point.  Somewhere in all those tiny muscles, ligaments, and joints I came up with a world of hurt.  Nothing showed on the CAT scan or the X-rays, but it is there.  It was two weeks before I could stay upright for more than 20 minutes, or eat a decent meal.  Two weeks mostly face down in bed, with an ice pack on my neck.  Trying to make the knives in my left eye ease up a bit and the rolling in my stomach settle down.  This gave me lots of time to think.

First I thought, "At least I didn't Break my neck".  This morphed into, "At least I am in my nice cozy home, not Haiti.".  Then there was, "Gosh, I think I need to get my husband a medal.", and "Wow my son is adorable, even if I can't do anything with him.".   Finally, "When will I be fixed, I'm getting mighty tired of this."  It seems to be two steps forward and one step back, all the way.  Which is still progress.  After two weeks I left the house for pleasure (one golden hour), then could not get out of bed the next day.  After 16 days I ate my first chocolate (yes, my stomach was that off).  And after 18 days I had my first coffee (perhaps I should have quit while I was ahead.).  Now I am settled into a one-day-up, one-day-down routine.  Not that I do much when I am up, but I dream. 

I started PT a few days ago, and it is excellent.  My PT is an angel, she helped fix my shoulder a few years ago.  Now she is helping to pull my head right off my neck.  This is a good thing, because I have a few tight muscles.  Okay, I have a lot of tight muscles.  I have always been focused on being strong.  Now the cosmic lesson is to take the time to stretch.  I am a very mentally flexible person, probably too flexible, but never gave my muscles that training.  Maybe I should turn it all around, work on being mentally strong, and physically flexible.  Cuz the strength is still there.  Even after weeks in bed my neck and shoulders feel like rocks.

I was once told that it is a good idea to listen to the little lessons thrown your way.  That the universe will throw toothpicks at your forehead to get your attention, and if that does not work then next comes the two-by-four.  Well, my neck has been bothering me a bit for over a year now.  I kept thinking, "I should get it together and do something about this...", and never quite got there.  I am there now, and determined to work on things.   Really, I have no choice.  Other than to give up, but that is no fun.  So I am soldiering on.  PT, stretches, down time, up time, attempt to get one or two things done.  I now have great sympathy for migraine sufferers, and those who have been through car accidents and other long term issues.  I see the agony.  And I am determined to follow where ever this leads.  Perhaps to yoga, maybe bio-feedback.  I have friend that does acupuncture, and I will give it a whirl.  I want to get back to my running, and maybe even ski cross country by the end of the season.  But I think I will stay away from the sleds. 

And what is a TAB?   It is a term that comes from people with disabilities.  A little inside joke.  Because if you don't have a disability label then you are a TAB.  Temporarily Able Bodied.  Make the most of it, folks!