Showing posts with label Family Matters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family Matters. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
What the Heck
What the heck should I write about in my Christmas letter? There are so many options to choose from. Should I write about everything that has happened in the last year, boring people to death and taking up four pages? Oh, that would be a problem because I didn't write a letter in '10 so I would have to do Two years and Eight pages. How about a short and funny poem that encapsulates the whole family? No, I am just no that talented. How about writing about the day I write the letter, doing a snapshot of life in our household. Hmmm, possibly but I can't be sure. Then there is the question of the tone of the letter. Light and fluffy, deep and serious, cynical and crass? Or really confuse them and do some of each. How about gratitudes? Gratitudes for hearing returned, learning continued, new jobs, or new wood stoves? What about horn tooting our collective horns. There could be business updates, a blerb on volunteer work teaching a financial class, 1000 words about North Shore Community School, or all the hard work our son has done just growing up. There could also be building project updates, pet updates, and garden updates. Oh so many options... I think this year I will go for humor. The rest can wait.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
A Winter Camping Poem
It is 6pm on a Sunday in late October and I am in my jammies. Half the clothes in the house are smoke stinky, the garage is a disaster, the car is a mess, and everyone else is already sleeping. It was a camping weekend, and I am in seventh heaven.
Two nights sleeping in a tent, with frost on the ground in the morning and well below freezing after dark. I almost choked to death on the first night, and was trapped in the tent the second night, needing to pee but with no toilet paper. At times I was frustrated, annoyed, and even pissed. I was poorly prepared, with cruddy shoes, one set of clothes, and no matches or flashlight of my own. But still, I am on a massive endorphin rush.
It could not have been the great conversation with awesome adults on Friday night around a bonfire, because I was busy losing a fight with our stove while watching Alex and the dog. It could not have been the fantastic live bluegrass band on Saturday night along with the wild party over at the old lodge, because I was too tired to make it. So I guess it was just the fact that we were camping. Camping!
But it wasn't any kind of hard core camping to account for the endorphins. We were camping at a Camp. There were actually about eight lodges on site, each with stone fireplace and welcoming vibes. There was no big push to get to camp, just a nice drive in. There was no battle for firewood, it was all provided, dry and split by the staff. I didn't even have to think about food, one of the lodges was also the dining hall complete with excellent chow. Kevin set up the tent, and broke it down too. So what provided all these marvelous endorphins? Why, even when I got home, was I so pumped that I cleaned up and even did many extra chores?
Maybe it was me, my hubbie, our kiddo, and even the dog, out and about in the outdoors. We hiked a bit, canoed a bit, hauled stuff a bit, and Alex even climbed outdoors. He made it about 16 feet off the ground, twice what he did last time. We also played some frisbee, visited the goats and the miniature horse on the grounds, and played around on the dock. The leaves were crunchy, the air was crisp, and my blood was pumping in a pleasant fashion. Yes, it may have been all that, but then again, it may have been something even more.
We were camping with a purpose. We were camping at the 13th Annual Winter Camping Symposium. We were not alone. We were not randomly "getting out". We were in the middle of an event. 40 some tents were spread across the fields and into the woods, and every one of them had a chimney sticking out of it. 160 people were pre-registered. 160 very special people. The Symposium is a gathering of the nutbags of the mid-west that like to go out and camp all winter long. The colder the better. The snowier the better. And best of all if you haul it yourself at least five miles into the wilderness on a toboggan. The tents are white- to blend with the winter landscape, and wood heated- to make it survivable. Not just survivable, but fun. Crazy fun. There is something just a little off about camping next to a wood stove in the middle of winter. It is not a pursuit for the faint of heart, but it is worthy.
It is an understated crowd that gets into this kind of thing. Everyone wears wool, the older the better. The more the outfits are mis-matched, the better. The longer you've been around, the better. And the less you have to say for yourself, the better. Lots of white hairs, and grey beards, and knowledge to pass around. This years Symposium was the biggest ever, with presenters Thursday through Sunday. You could join classes on fires and stoves, on sawing and splitting, on knife making and mitten making and winter travel. There were edible plant walks, tent tours, and good old nature hikes. Plus having fun with kids at minus 26, and kitting out your gear to run electric if you want to hit the Colorado ski slopes for $20 a night. There was a camp cook off that culminated in the Golden Spatula award, and many door prizes given away, including sweet axes, spiffy saws, and nifty wool hats.
Alex did really well. He attended last year with his dad, while I worked at home. This year we all got to attend. Kevin left on Thursday to teach classes, help organize, and get us set up too. It was a rough go on Friday, because Alex and I packed up and headed to camp after the Halloween parade and party at school. Otherwise known as chaos on a stick. I did nothing to plan ahead, so just threw together most of what we both needed for clothes and a few snacks. It is surprising how much energy that can take. By the time we arrived I was wreaked. That night, when the stove would not cooperate, Kevin was gone, and Alex was cranky I was sure the trip was a mistake. I allowed so much smoke to pour out of the stove and into the tent I was worried we might pass out. Fortunately tents just aren't that air tight, and the next morning I determined to tame that stove. By Saturday night I had it in hand, and the tent was so cozy I sent Kevin off to the music while I snuggled in with my book and watched my sleeping boy. He had hiked, and climbed, and canoed like a champ all day. He settled in easy to camp life, strung up pumpkin lights in the tent, and encouraged me in my quest to tame that stove. He had no trouble eating in the dining hall, attended a few seminars with minimal complaints, and made friends with the other kids running about. We hope that next year they will all start where they left off and make a junior nutbag pack. All they have to do is love the outdoors, want to play with fire, and have a fascination hatchets and tents. That should not be a tough sell.
So, I had a great weekend. I got to meet all the folks Kevin has been talking about all these years. He has been going to the Symposium for over six years now. Every year it landed on my work weekend, and every year it was a royal pain in the butt to schedule Alex care. Kevin is always stressed leading up to the Symposium because he sells gear there and presents as well, and then comes home and is a wreak. I had come to hate it because it meant nothing good to me. Sure, Kevin had some good stories about folks I'd barely or never met, and he always said I'd love it, but I had my doubts. Not even doubts really, I just didn't have any experience to tie things to. All that has changed. Now I have met them, eaten with them, taken their classes, and toured their tents. I am getting up on the skills, and falling for the sport. Next year I plan to present a class, and help make a real kids and family program. I think I may be hooked. We are planning to winter camp for real on December 10-11-12, and February 4-5-6, and I can barely wait.
My First Winter Camping Poem
As the last of the leaves fall from the trees and the winds begin to blow,
the temps will drop and the flakes will fly,
and I will be ready to go!
Two nights sleeping in a tent, with frost on the ground in the morning and well below freezing after dark. I almost choked to death on the first night, and was trapped in the tent the second night, needing to pee but with no toilet paper. At times I was frustrated, annoyed, and even pissed. I was poorly prepared, with cruddy shoes, one set of clothes, and no matches or flashlight of my own. But still, I am on a massive endorphin rush.
It could not have been the great conversation with awesome adults on Friday night around a bonfire, because I was busy losing a fight with our stove while watching Alex and the dog. It could not have been the fantastic live bluegrass band on Saturday night along with the wild party over at the old lodge, because I was too tired to make it. So I guess it was just the fact that we were camping. Camping!
But it wasn't any kind of hard core camping to account for the endorphins. We were camping at a Camp. There were actually about eight lodges on site, each with stone fireplace and welcoming vibes. There was no big push to get to camp, just a nice drive in. There was no battle for firewood, it was all provided, dry and split by the staff. I didn't even have to think about food, one of the lodges was also the dining hall complete with excellent chow. Kevin set up the tent, and broke it down too. So what provided all these marvelous endorphins? Why, even when I got home, was I so pumped that I cleaned up and even did many extra chores?
Maybe it was me, my hubbie, our kiddo, and even the dog, out and about in the outdoors. We hiked a bit, canoed a bit, hauled stuff a bit, and Alex even climbed outdoors. He made it about 16 feet off the ground, twice what he did last time. We also played some frisbee, visited the goats and the miniature horse on the grounds, and played around on the dock. The leaves were crunchy, the air was crisp, and my blood was pumping in a pleasant fashion. Yes, it may have been all that, but then again, it may have been something even more.
We were camping with a purpose. We were camping at the 13th Annual Winter Camping Symposium. We were not alone. We were not randomly "getting out". We were in the middle of an event. 40 some tents were spread across the fields and into the woods, and every one of them had a chimney sticking out of it. 160 people were pre-registered. 160 very special people. The Symposium is a gathering of the nutbags of the mid-west that like to go out and camp all winter long. The colder the better. The snowier the better. And best of all if you haul it yourself at least five miles into the wilderness on a toboggan. The tents are white- to blend with the winter landscape, and wood heated- to make it survivable. Not just survivable, but fun. Crazy fun. There is something just a little off about camping next to a wood stove in the middle of winter. It is not a pursuit for the faint of heart, but it is worthy.
It is an understated crowd that gets into this kind of thing. Everyone wears wool, the older the better. The more the outfits are mis-matched, the better. The longer you've been around, the better. And the less you have to say for yourself, the better. Lots of white hairs, and grey beards, and knowledge to pass around. This years Symposium was the biggest ever, with presenters Thursday through Sunday. You could join classes on fires and stoves, on sawing and splitting, on knife making and mitten making and winter travel. There were edible plant walks, tent tours, and good old nature hikes. Plus having fun with kids at minus 26, and kitting out your gear to run electric if you want to hit the Colorado ski slopes for $20 a night. There was a camp cook off that culminated in the Golden Spatula award, and many door prizes given away, including sweet axes, spiffy saws, and nifty wool hats.
Alex did really well. He attended last year with his dad, while I worked at home. This year we all got to attend. Kevin left on Thursday to teach classes, help organize, and get us set up too. It was a rough go on Friday, because Alex and I packed up and headed to camp after the Halloween parade and party at school. Otherwise known as chaos on a stick. I did nothing to plan ahead, so just threw together most of what we both needed for clothes and a few snacks. It is surprising how much energy that can take. By the time we arrived I was wreaked. That night, when the stove would not cooperate, Kevin was gone, and Alex was cranky I was sure the trip was a mistake. I allowed so much smoke to pour out of the stove and into the tent I was worried we might pass out. Fortunately tents just aren't that air tight, and the next morning I determined to tame that stove. By Saturday night I had it in hand, and the tent was so cozy I sent Kevin off to the music while I snuggled in with my book and watched my sleeping boy. He had hiked, and climbed, and canoed like a champ all day. He settled in easy to camp life, strung up pumpkin lights in the tent, and encouraged me in my quest to tame that stove. He had no trouble eating in the dining hall, attended a few seminars with minimal complaints, and made friends with the other kids running about. We hope that next year they will all start where they left off and make a junior nutbag pack. All they have to do is love the outdoors, want to play with fire, and have a fascination hatchets and tents. That should not be a tough sell.
So, I had a great weekend. I got to meet all the folks Kevin has been talking about all these years. He has been going to the Symposium for over six years now. Every year it landed on my work weekend, and every year it was a royal pain in the butt to schedule Alex care. Kevin is always stressed leading up to the Symposium because he sells gear there and presents as well, and then comes home and is a wreak. I had come to hate it because it meant nothing good to me. Sure, Kevin had some good stories about folks I'd barely or never met, and he always said I'd love it, but I had my doubts. Not even doubts really, I just didn't have any experience to tie things to. All that has changed. Now I have met them, eaten with them, taken their classes, and toured their tents. I am getting up on the skills, and falling for the sport. Next year I plan to present a class, and help make a real kids and family program. I think I may be hooked. We are planning to winter camp for real on December 10-11-12, and February 4-5-6, and I can barely wait.
My First Winter Camping Poem
As the last of the leaves fall from the trees and the winds begin to blow,
the temps will drop and the flakes will fly,
and I will be ready to go!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
The Things My Kid Says
It all goes so fast. I was looking at a blog for my friend with a young pre-schooler and I can barely remember when Alex was that small. It goes to reason that I will not be able to remember this current age one day soon, too. I have plenty of pics deep in digital land, but what of the spirit of the age? I should be writing it all down as soon as it happens, but alas my organizational skills hold me back, so will recreate what I can for Alex, at age 7.
Alex has taken to randomly hugging me, giving me a kiss, and in a whispery little boy voice say, "Mama, you are my best friend." I'll take that. I have also watched this lovelyness unfold with his father too.
Halloween night he was skipping and running down the road with his four year old buddy Ben (Alex was Sheriff Woody and Ben was a plush shark) and they were singing the A-B-C song, and then made up a Trick or Treating song together.
He loves telling stories now, and will tell long ones about the Alphabet, and Word Girl, and the Energy Monster, mostly raided from his favorite learn to read web site.
This past summer we spent many long conversations on, "What would happen if we were driving down the street, and the Red light started blinking?!", and "What if it was windy and rainy, and a tornado came down on our house?!". Mind you, these things were stated gleefully with only a bit of a worried edge.
And most recently, last night in fact, he told me he hated me. "Mama, go away, I hate you and I don't love you any more." I should be devastated but really, I am okay with this. I did something to piss him off, and he gets it. And is responding. What I did was let him know I forgot to sign him up for the swim lessons he wanted, and now it is too late. Oops. I feel bad about this, and clearly he does too. The good news is that I will make it up by taking him to open swim, which will get us in the habit. Then I will sign up for the next round. Being only 7 I am hoping his capacity for a grudge will only last a little while. I want to get quickly back to being his best friend. Gotta get it in now, before those teenage years hit.
Alex has taken to randomly hugging me, giving me a kiss, and in a whispery little boy voice say, "Mama, you are my best friend." I'll take that. I have also watched this lovelyness unfold with his father too.
Halloween night he was skipping and running down the road with his four year old buddy Ben (Alex was Sheriff Woody and Ben was a plush shark) and they were singing the A-B-C song, and then made up a Trick or Treating song together.
He loves telling stories now, and will tell long ones about the Alphabet, and Word Girl, and the Energy Monster, mostly raided from his favorite learn to read web site.
This past summer we spent many long conversations on, "What would happen if we were driving down the street, and the Red light started blinking?!", and "What if it was windy and rainy, and a tornado came down on our house?!". Mind you, these things were stated gleefully with only a bit of a worried edge.
And most recently, last night in fact, he told me he hated me. "Mama, go away, I hate you and I don't love you any more." I should be devastated but really, I am okay with this. I did something to piss him off, and he gets it. And is responding. What I did was let him know I forgot to sign him up for the swim lessons he wanted, and now it is too late. Oops. I feel bad about this, and clearly he does too. The good news is that I will make it up by taking him to open swim, which will get us in the habit. Then I will sign up for the next round. Being only 7 I am hoping his capacity for a grudge will only last a little while. I want to get quickly back to being his best friend. Gotta get it in now, before those teenage years hit.
Friday, May 21, 2010
The Talk, The Dinner Table, and Drama
There has been lots of drama around here lately. So much that I am very far behind in posting and will try to catch up. But where to start?
Drama is a good place to start. Love triangles and lions. Late nights and sell offs. It has been quite a spring. Alex was in the school play. I signed up for this last fall, with no real clue of the involvement. My kid is in kindergarten, how bad could it be? Well, it was bad timing. And bad hours. And bad days at school. But, overall it was very good. Alex got very tired. Very tired indeed, and was hard to handle at school and home for about 10 days. The hours of practice for his non-speaking part were late and long. 6-8pm for an entire week. This would be more acceptable if his bedtime was not 6:30. I had a plan to only attend some of the practices, and then only stay for part of each, but I ended up having to work. A lot. Like the entire week. So Kevin took over and he powered on through with full practices. It was crazy, but perhaps ended up for the good. Alex got chaos training and endurance for the performance days. It was also the week of our garage sale, so there was lots of other work to be done. So, between the practices and performances, amping up to clear out our house and make a small bit of cash, and working a ton, it is all a bit of a blur. And my mom came up. We love seeing Grandma, and she loved the play and helped with the sale, but it was a whirlwind indeed. Alex was an elephant, had a multi-layered costume and full face paint, and three scenes on stage. He put up with it all like a trooper. The cast was huge at 90, but the other kids really looked out for him. Sometimes I get the feeling he is like the school mascot, in a good way. He had a 6pm performance on Saturday May 1st, also Sale day, and a 2pm performance Sunday May 2. I know this for sure, the rest is a but fuzzy. He had no bad behavior in specific during this time frame, like tantrums or blow ups (we have left those behind) but he was resistant and pokey at home and school, and more handsy and pincy with kids. There were three kindergarten elephants and the mama in fifth grade. The other two little ones, who Alex calls The Twins, were both girls from his class. They were adorable together. One of them, a cute redhead named Lydia, got her hand stepped on pretty bad during school by a disregulated Alex. I asked her mom about how she felt during play practice and she said, "Oh, she forgave him right away. She said that he didn't really mean it and just has a hard time controlling himself sometimes." I asked Lydia about it too, and she said essentially the same thing, while smiling and gazing at Alex. I heard through the grapevine she has declared her intention to marry him.
So, we survived the play weekend. The garage sale had also concluded a 21 day Financial Fast where we quit all spending and shopping, except for groceries, bills, and gas. That was a really cool experience, and tied in nicely with clearing out for the garage sale and focusing on selling off and donating unneeded things. The house got much clearer and we are ready to head towards a summer of building in the attic. As we got into May we began to revamp our dinner menu. We started a plan back in March of a weekly dinner menu. With school and all we had gotten into the bad habit of just feeding Alex pasta, toast, and bagels for dinner. It was all he wanted. Butter on all, and maybe cheese sauce or peanut butter for variety. We have lamented his limited diet forever, he is a plain carbs kind of kid. No meat, no beans, no veggies. Not even tomato sauce. If anything new is introduced he shuts down, either panicking, shutting down, or both. We have been through the food clinic and made progress there, but made little further progress. It started as a motor planning thing, and poor ability to distinguish textures and move food around. Then it became habit and phobia. I knew this, but was stuck. I didn't seem to have it in me to do creative taste picnics like the therapist, and work step by step to make it exciting and fun to eat progressively more difficult foods. That meant making a taste picnic time plan and having a specifically planned graduated menu, cooking it all, and fitting in these extra fun sessions into a regular time slot. Yikes. But finally all the carbs got to me. It was too much and he was showing signs of readiness and branching out a tiny bit in his eating. It was time to go for it. So I devised and weekly dinner menu. The same thing every week, at the same time. Real dinner, with plates, napkins, utensils, and all family present. We posted the menu and Alex immediately got in the habit of asking what was for dinner. It was very basic with some fun things like jello and pudding thrown in for some desserts. He totally got into making those. And Kevin got into it to. With a set menu to go off and shop for there was no more agonizing, or making separate meals for mom and dad. I usually cook when I am home, but Kevin is a champion cooker too. We have rarely ditched the menu and gone for pasta or toast. Except for play week, all bets were off then. But we are back on the regular schedule and it has worked. Some of the biggies he now eats are soup, and tomato sauce on his pasta. Still can't get him to eat a chicken nugget, but maybe that is for the best. He is totally into mashed potatoes, and eats his cooked veggies. We just did a 7 week revamp and dropped out some of the failures (the nuggets and hamburgers), kept favorites (soup, pizza, and ONE pasta meal a week), and the great success of the new menu was that my son at tofu. Tofu. And liked it a lot. "Mama, I like this white cake. It is yummy!". And yes, marketing is important. Tofu has become White Cake tofu, and quiche is Eggy Pie. Total failure on the quiche as he grabbed it too fast and burnt his mouth on melted cheese, but hope to get over that. This current menu will run for another 6 weeks before we revamp it again. And this time I will start blending in and hiding small amount of healthy stuff in his mashed potatoes and other places. As they say, youth and enthusiasm will always be overcome by age and treachery.
Perhaps the biggest event of the spring was our talk with Alex's class. Big mentally. We had his spring IEP, which was a dream. Love his staff, all of them, and they are really on target in terms of assessing him and planning to help him move forward. They are even instituting and new program for August to help him prepare for the next school year. As we wound down this year I tentatively wondered if it would be good to talk to his class about his autism. The enthusiasm was overwhelming. It overwhelmed my urge to run, forget about the whole thing, and pretend he us just an average kid. No luck there. It is good, I suppose, that he has some very visible signs of autism. He still flaps when excited, gets overstimulated by too much noise and excitement and runs out the door or grabs kids inappropriately, and it is easier for him to avoid social contact. But he loves his little friends too, and reaches out all the time in many different ways. And the kids notice all of this, and that he gets to leave class with his aide, and he does not always have the same rules as they do. Since they really seem to love him too it was time to come clean with them.
We debated about using the word autism. Are they too young to understand? Will they use the label as a weapon? Will it make them turn on him, or act differently than they would without the label?? But you can't erase the truth and understanding combats fear. The truth is there are quite a few notable differences with Alex, and these kids will encounter many other kids with autism in there lives. Maybe by knowing all about Alex, while they love him as they do, then that will help the others. The talk was short, about 10 minutes. Alex was out of the room, as well as the other little boy in their class with autism. Teacher had them gather around us on the carpet, 20 some little eager faces. We talked about how Alex is different, both the bad and the good, we talked about autism and how he was born with it, we talked about their observations. Lydia sat right next to me, and when I said nervously that Alex had a thing called autism she raised her hand with a big smile and said her mom had told her that. I didn't even know her mom knew, but of course she did. The signs are all there for someone to see. I was surprised and delighted, score one for the truth. Why delighted? Because Lydia was smiling, and Lydia wants to marry Alex too. I really got that these kids, these kids who have been with him all year, really want to be his friends. They are not just tolerating him, they are pursuing him. And even though he is not able to fully connect with or play with them on the same complicated level they are at, they don't care. They see him as a peer and friend, and tolerate the negative while celebrating the positive. They know about his good memory, and his sense of humor, his ability to memorize schedules and sequences, and know the rules. They like his smile and celebrate his opening up and joining their clan of kiddom bit by bit. Yes, the talk went well and we will do it again next year, but even earlier. Like October. And of course we ended with treats. Always bring good treats. Alex joined us and it was not weird. He was thrown by his parents being in class, but the other kids loved us and begged us to sit at all their tables. It was lovely.
There are only two weeks left of school. Alex's new 1st grade teacher joined out talk for a bit. He gets to keep his aide. She started out sharing two kids then moved to only Alex. She is staying on for another year to work one day a week with him. His other aide has worked with the other kiddo in class and will be with Alex instead next year, Monday through Thursday. She is great too. We have a full summer planned. My greatest dream is that Alex continues to connect with his peers, grow and learn to live in the regular world. He will always have his Planet Jellybean to retreat to, hopefully he will need it less and less.
I didn't really mean for this to be a mega post, but sometimes these things just happen. There has been more this spring but it will have to wait. I hit on all the biggies. Oh, except for the love triangles. Alex has two girls that have openly declared their love for him and intention to marry him. Lily actually had him in a headlock the last time she trumpeted her plan to Kevin. And Alex has proposed to two women so far, Melani who is a beautiful young lady in her 20's that I work with, and myself. Yes, he proposed to her first. That was last year. Just recently he declared that he will marry Lussi, a third girl from his class. She was in the play too, and dressed as an exotic bird. She is a peanut, but very much a strong little pixie. But alas, she has declared her love for Aiden. And so the world turns...
Drama is a good place to start. Love triangles and lions. Late nights and sell offs. It has been quite a spring. Alex was in the school play. I signed up for this last fall, with no real clue of the involvement. My kid is in kindergarten, how bad could it be? Well, it was bad timing. And bad hours. And bad days at school. But, overall it was very good. Alex got very tired. Very tired indeed, and was hard to handle at school and home for about 10 days. The hours of practice for his non-speaking part were late and long. 6-8pm for an entire week. This would be more acceptable if his bedtime was not 6:30. I had a plan to only attend some of the practices, and then only stay for part of each, but I ended up having to work. A lot. Like the entire week. So Kevin took over and he powered on through with full practices. It was crazy, but perhaps ended up for the good. Alex got chaos training and endurance for the performance days. It was also the week of our garage sale, so there was lots of other work to be done. So, between the practices and performances, amping up to clear out our house and make a small bit of cash, and working a ton, it is all a bit of a blur. And my mom came up. We love seeing Grandma, and she loved the play and helped with the sale, but it was a whirlwind indeed. Alex was an elephant, had a multi-layered costume and full face paint, and three scenes on stage. He put up with it all like a trooper. The cast was huge at 90, but the other kids really looked out for him. Sometimes I get the feeling he is like the school mascot, in a good way. He had a 6pm performance on Saturday May 1st, also Sale day, and a 2pm performance Sunday May 2. I know this for sure, the rest is a but fuzzy. He had no bad behavior in specific during this time frame, like tantrums or blow ups (we have left those behind) but he was resistant and pokey at home and school, and more handsy and pincy with kids. There were three kindergarten elephants and the mama in fifth grade. The other two little ones, who Alex calls The Twins, were both girls from his class. They were adorable together. One of them, a cute redhead named Lydia, got her hand stepped on pretty bad during school by a disregulated Alex. I asked her mom about how she felt during play practice and she said, "Oh, she forgave him right away. She said that he didn't really mean it and just has a hard time controlling himself sometimes." I asked Lydia about it too, and she said essentially the same thing, while smiling and gazing at Alex. I heard through the grapevine she has declared her intention to marry him.
So, we survived the play weekend. The garage sale had also concluded a 21 day Financial Fast where we quit all spending and shopping, except for groceries, bills, and gas. That was a really cool experience, and tied in nicely with clearing out for the garage sale and focusing on selling off and donating unneeded things. The house got much clearer and we are ready to head towards a summer of building in the attic. As we got into May we began to revamp our dinner menu. We started a plan back in March of a weekly dinner menu. With school and all we had gotten into the bad habit of just feeding Alex pasta, toast, and bagels for dinner. It was all he wanted. Butter on all, and maybe cheese sauce or peanut butter for variety. We have lamented his limited diet forever, he is a plain carbs kind of kid. No meat, no beans, no veggies. Not even tomato sauce. If anything new is introduced he shuts down, either panicking, shutting down, or both. We have been through the food clinic and made progress there, but made little further progress. It started as a motor planning thing, and poor ability to distinguish textures and move food around. Then it became habit and phobia. I knew this, but was stuck. I didn't seem to have it in me to do creative taste picnics like the therapist, and work step by step to make it exciting and fun to eat progressively more difficult foods. That meant making a taste picnic time plan and having a specifically planned graduated menu, cooking it all, and fitting in these extra fun sessions into a regular time slot. Yikes. But finally all the carbs got to me. It was too much and he was showing signs of readiness and branching out a tiny bit in his eating. It was time to go for it. So I devised and weekly dinner menu. The same thing every week, at the same time. Real dinner, with plates, napkins, utensils, and all family present. We posted the menu and Alex immediately got in the habit of asking what was for dinner. It was very basic with some fun things like jello and pudding thrown in for some desserts. He totally got into making those. And Kevin got into it to. With a set menu to go off and shop for there was no more agonizing, or making separate meals for mom and dad. I usually cook when I am home, but Kevin is a champion cooker too. We have rarely ditched the menu and gone for pasta or toast. Except for play week, all bets were off then. But we are back on the regular schedule and it has worked. Some of the biggies he now eats are soup, and tomato sauce on his pasta. Still can't get him to eat a chicken nugget, but maybe that is for the best. He is totally into mashed potatoes, and eats his cooked veggies. We just did a 7 week revamp and dropped out some of the failures (the nuggets and hamburgers), kept favorites (soup, pizza, and ONE pasta meal a week), and the great success of the new menu was that my son at tofu. Tofu. And liked it a lot. "Mama, I like this white cake. It is yummy!". And yes, marketing is important. Tofu has become White Cake tofu, and quiche is Eggy Pie. Total failure on the quiche as he grabbed it too fast and burnt his mouth on melted cheese, but hope to get over that. This current menu will run for another 6 weeks before we revamp it again. And this time I will start blending in and hiding small amount of healthy stuff in his mashed potatoes and other places. As they say, youth and enthusiasm will always be overcome by age and treachery.
Perhaps the biggest event of the spring was our talk with Alex's class. Big mentally. We had his spring IEP, which was a dream. Love his staff, all of them, and they are really on target in terms of assessing him and planning to help him move forward. They are even instituting and new program for August to help him prepare for the next school year. As we wound down this year I tentatively wondered if it would be good to talk to his class about his autism. The enthusiasm was overwhelming. It overwhelmed my urge to run, forget about the whole thing, and pretend he us just an average kid. No luck there. It is good, I suppose, that he has some very visible signs of autism. He still flaps when excited, gets overstimulated by too much noise and excitement and runs out the door or grabs kids inappropriately, and it is easier for him to avoid social contact. But he loves his little friends too, and reaches out all the time in many different ways. And the kids notice all of this, and that he gets to leave class with his aide, and he does not always have the same rules as they do. Since they really seem to love him too it was time to come clean with them.
We debated about using the word autism. Are they too young to understand? Will they use the label as a weapon? Will it make them turn on him, or act differently than they would without the label?? But you can't erase the truth and understanding combats fear. The truth is there are quite a few notable differences with Alex, and these kids will encounter many other kids with autism in there lives. Maybe by knowing all about Alex, while they love him as they do, then that will help the others. The talk was short, about 10 minutes. Alex was out of the room, as well as the other little boy in their class with autism. Teacher had them gather around us on the carpet, 20 some little eager faces. We talked about how Alex is different, both the bad and the good, we talked about autism and how he was born with it, we talked about their observations. Lydia sat right next to me, and when I said nervously that Alex had a thing called autism she raised her hand with a big smile and said her mom had told her that. I didn't even know her mom knew, but of course she did. The signs are all there for someone to see. I was surprised and delighted, score one for the truth. Why delighted? Because Lydia was smiling, and Lydia wants to marry Alex too. I really got that these kids, these kids who have been with him all year, really want to be his friends. They are not just tolerating him, they are pursuing him. And even though he is not able to fully connect with or play with them on the same complicated level they are at, they don't care. They see him as a peer and friend, and tolerate the negative while celebrating the positive. They know about his good memory, and his sense of humor, his ability to memorize schedules and sequences, and know the rules. They like his smile and celebrate his opening up and joining their clan of kiddom bit by bit. Yes, the talk went well and we will do it again next year, but even earlier. Like October. And of course we ended with treats. Always bring good treats. Alex joined us and it was not weird. He was thrown by his parents being in class, but the other kids loved us and begged us to sit at all their tables. It was lovely.
There are only two weeks left of school. Alex's new 1st grade teacher joined out talk for a bit. He gets to keep his aide. She started out sharing two kids then moved to only Alex. She is staying on for another year to work one day a week with him. His other aide has worked with the other kiddo in class and will be with Alex instead next year, Monday through Thursday. She is great too. We have a full summer planned. My greatest dream is that Alex continues to connect with his peers, grow and learn to live in the regular world. He will always have his Planet Jellybean to retreat to, hopefully he will need it less and less.
I didn't really mean for this to be a mega post, but sometimes these things just happen. There has been more this spring but it will have to wait. I hit on all the biggies. Oh, except for the love triangles. Alex has two girls that have openly declared their love for him and intention to marry him. Lily actually had him in a headlock the last time she trumpeted her plan to Kevin. And Alex has proposed to two women so far, Melani who is a beautiful young lady in her 20's that I work with, and myself. Yes, he proposed to her first. That was last year. Just recently he declared that he will marry Lussi, a third girl from his class. She was in the play too, and dressed as an exotic bird. She is a peanut, but very much a strong little pixie. But alas, she has declared her love for Aiden. And so the world turns...
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
The Alex Report
I know I was supposed to blog more about Jamaica, but first I need to put out another Alex Report. It has been far too long. Plus I have a blogging announcement for the end.
As I put Alex on the bus this morning I considered how far we have come. The Spring Concert at school rolled through my head, where Alex had a Maraca solo. He is in Kindergarten now, and we are living the dream. The dream my favorite autism books talk about, where your child is fully integrated into a regular classroom, with pull out time to work on the skills he needs. That is what we have, and the school is fantastic. They have bent over backwards to accommodate Alex, and had fun doing it. He has an aide to die for. She was a elementary school teacher for many years, had had time off due to illness, and decided to work another year in the classroom. She is the most loving and invested person we could ask for. She has read every book I recommended, and fully immersed herself in learning autism. We have tea every month or so, and she has been a delight and a comfort. His teacher is also a beautiful soul, she knows young kids, and has made a perfect learning environment. She is very structured, and predictable, but also builds in super creative days and projects. Alex loves her, and was imitating her within a week of being in her class. He was also terrified of her, because she is somewhat intimidating (a Nordic goddess in Kevin's words), so he played hard to get for the first few months. She has been great at insisting on eye contact. And then there is the special education staff. They are all hard working, super invested, and cool people. And all there, on site. No traveling to other schools. No leaving the adorable country school, with it's woods and trails, gardens and greenhouse, and multiple playgrounds.
So, it is all going great, but of course I still worry. I worry that I have not been working with him enough at home. Worry that we let him veg out on the computer for half an hour after school, sometimes even 45 minutes. Worry that his hand writing is atrocious and he hates writing. Worry that his bus ride is an hour each way, and he is not learning or socializing, just stimming. Worry that this is as close to the norm as he will ever get.
The kids at school seem to love him. He has his favorites, all girls of course. He likes the boys too, and there is one little one that keeps asking if he can give Alex his phone number. Next time I will say yes. There is a mean one too, and Alex bit him a few weeks ago. I was not too sad about that and I suspect the staff really wasn't either. Alex is talking a lot about feelings and trying to understand what others are feeling. He will ask, "Was she sad?" or, "What did my teacher feel when I squished Isaac?". He talks about sitting on, rolling on, and hitting kids, but the teacher reports he is very well behaved and only grabs kids sometimes or pinches a little when excited. Maybe he is thinking about sitting on them?? He can now tell a story from beginning to middle, and sometimes even the end. We have made lots of progress, but sometimes it seems we are still very far off the mark. When I get too worried, however, I pull out a recent cherished memory. One of the most popular, smart, and sweet girls in his class wants to marry him. Lily Brown told my husband this when they were having a play date over a month ago. I guess we are doing okay.
Blogging announcement- I have started another blog. I felt like I wanted this blog to reflect Family matters and Autism more than anything. My other blog is all the random musings I am sometimes prone to. Feel free to visit Bethupnorthramblings.blogspot.com, I have been rambling there for a while now. Cheers!
As I put Alex on the bus this morning I considered how far we have come. The Spring Concert at school rolled through my head, where Alex had a Maraca solo. He is in Kindergarten now, and we are living the dream. The dream my favorite autism books talk about, where your child is fully integrated into a regular classroom, with pull out time to work on the skills he needs. That is what we have, and the school is fantastic. They have bent over backwards to accommodate Alex, and had fun doing it. He has an aide to die for. She was a elementary school teacher for many years, had had time off due to illness, and decided to work another year in the classroom. She is the most loving and invested person we could ask for. She has read every book I recommended, and fully immersed herself in learning autism. We have tea every month or so, and she has been a delight and a comfort. His teacher is also a beautiful soul, she knows young kids, and has made a perfect learning environment. She is very structured, and predictable, but also builds in super creative days and projects. Alex loves her, and was imitating her within a week of being in her class. He was also terrified of her, because she is somewhat intimidating (a Nordic goddess in Kevin's words), so he played hard to get for the first few months. She has been great at insisting on eye contact. And then there is the special education staff. They are all hard working, super invested, and cool people. And all there, on site. No traveling to other schools. No leaving the adorable country school, with it's woods and trails, gardens and greenhouse, and multiple playgrounds.
So, it is all going great, but of course I still worry. I worry that I have not been working with him enough at home. Worry that we let him veg out on the computer for half an hour after school, sometimes even 45 minutes. Worry that his hand writing is atrocious and he hates writing. Worry that his bus ride is an hour each way, and he is not learning or socializing, just stimming. Worry that this is as close to the norm as he will ever get.
The kids at school seem to love him. He has his favorites, all girls of course. He likes the boys too, and there is one little one that keeps asking if he can give Alex his phone number. Next time I will say yes. There is a mean one too, and Alex bit him a few weeks ago. I was not too sad about that and I suspect the staff really wasn't either. Alex is talking a lot about feelings and trying to understand what others are feeling. He will ask, "Was she sad?" or, "What did my teacher feel when I squished Isaac?". He talks about sitting on, rolling on, and hitting kids, but the teacher reports he is very well behaved and only grabs kids sometimes or pinches a little when excited. Maybe he is thinking about sitting on them?? He can now tell a story from beginning to middle, and sometimes even the end. We have made lots of progress, but sometimes it seems we are still very far off the mark. When I get too worried, however, I pull out a recent cherished memory. One of the most popular, smart, and sweet girls in his class wants to marry him. Lily Brown told my husband this when they were having a play date over a month ago. I guess we are doing okay.
Blogging announcement- I have started another blog. I felt like I wanted this blog to reflect Family matters and Autism more than anything. My other blog is all the random musings I am sometimes prone to. Feel free to visit Bethupnorthramblings.blogspot.com, I have been rambling there for a while now. Cheers!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Winter Fun
Alex, Jack, and I went skiing today. It was Alex's third time on cross country skis this year, and the best outing yet. Blue skies, gorgeous white snow, and warm temperatures. He is so cute on his little skis, chugging along. We have discovered a dog/ski trail at the end of our neighborhood, on a nice wooded golf course. It is not too steep, not too curvy, and not too long. We have yet to make a full circuit (about 5km) but may get there by the end of the year.
I have had to lay down the law about a few things. Thou shalt get up on your own, is the big one and was instituted on his last trip. Thou shalt not whine, another key commandment, was begun on this trip. And Thou shalt wear sunglasses, will be started on his next outing. Getting up on his own saves my back, no whining saves my sanity, and wearing sunglasses will be good for him directly. He looked so cute rolling around on his back trying to figure out how to get his skis back under him. I think it is excellent problem solving practice.
My motivational techniques sometimes are carrots and sometimes are sticks. For the first two laws, sticks were in order. But maybe not your normal sticks. I threatened him with having to take his skis off and walk. It went like this... "Fwuump", down he went in a small heap. "Mama, mama, pull me up!", from somewhere at snow level. "Nope, you get yourself up or we will have to take your skis off and head back to the car." -pause- "Okay." And up he would pop, usually sooner rather than later. Dang, why didn't I do that the whole time last week? Oh yeah, we were with friends and their kids, and I wasn't sure if he could get himself up. By the end of that trip I was a bit fried so gave up on all help, and threatened walking because it was all I could think of. To my amazement it worked, so I am sticking with it. This time we were on our own, and my main goal was his independence. I only gave him the tiniest help two times. He was down at least two dozen. Ahhhh, the sweet taste of success. And he had fun! And so did I. Whining was minimized as well, and new techniques were dabbled with. Like side stepping up the steep stuff, and skiing downhill through three inches of fresh powder. It was quiet glorious. I was day dreaming of other, longer ski trips to take in the future. Visions of hut-to-hut trips in the mountains were dancing in my head. Maybe a day at a downhill ski area with peaks nearby, and trails, trails, trails. We could even start with the Upper Peninsula of Michigan before heading out West one day. The whole snowy world awaits.
I have had to lay down the law about a few things. Thou shalt get up on your own, is the big one and was instituted on his last trip. Thou shalt not whine, another key commandment, was begun on this trip. And Thou shalt wear sunglasses, will be started on his next outing. Getting up on his own saves my back, no whining saves my sanity, and wearing sunglasses will be good for him directly. He looked so cute rolling around on his back trying to figure out how to get his skis back under him. I think it is excellent problem solving practice.
My motivational techniques sometimes are carrots and sometimes are sticks. For the first two laws, sticks were in order. But maybe not your normal sticks. I threatened him with having to take his skis off and walk. It went like this... "Fwuump", down he went in a small heap. "Mama, mama, pull me up!", from somewhere at snow level. "Nope, you get yourself up or we will have to take your skis off and head back to the car." -pause- "Okay." And up he would pop, usually sooner rather than later. Dang, why didn't I do that the whole time last week? Oh yeah, we were with friends and their kids, and I wasn't sure if he could get himself up. By the end of that trip I was a bit fried so gave up on all help, and threatened walking because it was all I could think of. To my amazement it worked, so I am sticking with it. This time we were on our own, and my main goal was his independence. I only gave him the tiniest help two times. He was down at least two dozen. Ahhhh, the sweet taste of success. And he had fun! And so did I. Whining was minimized as well, and new techniques were dabbled with. Like side stepping up the steep stuff, and skiing downhill through three inches of fresh powder. It was quiet glorious. I was day dreaming of other, longer ski trips to take in the future. Visions of hut-to-hut trips in the mountains were dancing in my head. Maybe a day at a downhill ski area with peaks nearby, and trails, trails, trails. We could even start with the Upper Peninsula of Michigan before heading out West one day. The whole snowy world awaits.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Hello Again
Well well, it has been quite awhile. Summer goes so fast up here, I can't believe it is already September. As I put Alex on the bus, however, for the first day of Kindergarten, the reality of fall was apparent. It has arrived, wrapped in a summer package. It is 70 and sunny today, time to tend the garden and get a little more sun before the rains set in. This summer was a bit lacking in the good weather department, until this last week. Now it is gorgeous, and all the trees are coloring early to celebrate. I am not sure where to start, or go, with this post, so will ramble for just a bit, then see if I can get some pictures up.
It may not seem it, but I am ecstatic about Alex starting school. I wish I could go to his school, and I hope my wishes will line up with his experience. His school really wants him, and that is great, coming from a system that often treated him more as a burden. Again, from my perspective, and not the individuals that taught him, but the overall system. A few key comments like, "No no, you wont want him in a regular classroom" just before we mainstreamed him in a private preschool, and later from another staffer, "Gee, sounds like he's doing great in regular preschool, but I am sure the best place for him will be back in a special ed classroom next year.", shows that the Duluth school system has one plan and one plan only for a kid on the Autism spectrum. Also, I was recently told by a district insider that, "We are required to graduate our special ed kids (from high school) with an eighth grade education.", and "We shoot for adequate education, no more." Wow. So glad we found the charter school, and that is it's own district, with it's own goals. If all goes well the need for services will drop off as Alex learns and grows, as he integrates into this system that seeks to teach all it's kids strong social skills, as well as the academics. In fact, their hand book says, "We believe that social learning is as important as academics.", which is so true! Where is a kid who graduates from school but can't make friends or work with people? That kid is living in his parents basement forevermore. And what about a kid with no self control? Of course all of this must also be taught and modeled at home, but how perfect to have it as a basis for learning at school too, rather than an after thought. I swear there are still many schools where the principles of The Lord of the Flies still rule.
With that thought, I am off to enjoy the day before I must be off to work for the evening. I have morphed into a new schedule at work, where I will work mostly days, with a few evenings here and there. That way we can have a semi-normal schedule with work during the day, family time in the evening and weekends. And I will try to fit in more blog time too. Cheers!
It may not seem it, but I am ecstatic about Alex starting school. I wish I could go to his school, and I hope my wishes will line up with his experience. His school really wants him, and that is great, coming from a system that often treated him more as a burden. Again, from my perspective, and not the individuals that taught him, but the overall system. A few key comments like, "No no, you wont want him in a regular classroom" just before we mainstreamed him in a private preschool, and later from another staffer, "Gee, sounds like he's doing great in regular preschool, but I am sure the best place for him will be back in a special ed classroom next year.", shows that the Duluth school system has one plan and one plan only for a kid on the Autism spectrum. Also, I was recently told by a district insider that, "We are required to graduate our special ed kids (from high school) with an eighth grade education.", and "We shoot for adequate education, no more." Wow. So glad we found the charter school, and that is it's own district, with it's own goals. If all goes well the need for services will drop off as Alex learns and grows, as he integrates into this system that seeks to teach all it's kids strong social skills, as well as the academics. In fact, their hand book says, "We believe that social learning is as important as academics.", which is so true! Where is a kid who graduates from school but can't make friends or work with people? That kid is living in his parents basement forevermore. And what about a kid with no self control? Of course all of this must also be taught and modeled at home, but how perfect to have it as a basis for learning at school too, rather than an after thought. I swear there are still many schools where the principles of The Lord of the Flies still rule.
With that thought, I am off to enjoy the day before I must be off to work for the evening. I have morphed into a new schedule at work, where I will work mostly days, with a few evenings here and there. That way we can have a semi-normal schedule with work during the day, family time in the evening and weekends. And I will try to fit in more blog time too. Cheers!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
The Perfect Day
Whitewater. My addiction. Or perhaps passion, since addiction con notates a continuing indulgence. And while my recent outings (in the last 6 years) have not been as frequent, they have been memorable. Last summers five day paddling trip to Wausau was excellent, for example. I was on my own, like the old days. I got to teach a little and train a lot. I visited many family members and friends. I introduced a great young man to the sport. And I reacquainted myself with my slalom boat on big water. I even won some money, which I spent on gas and extra Whitewater T-shirts and sweats for my boys. Our local slalom was also a blast last year, with hot competition among the "senior" women (maybe they could call us Cougarettes) and good runs for Kevin. We traded keeping Alex on dry land. And there have been various days on creeks in the spring, several good surf days out on the big lake, and play sessions with friends down in Taylors falls. Yes, great and memorable days, but not like this one.
Today was perfect. I wish I had a camera along, but will have to resort to 1,000 words instead. Picture blue and breezy skies, warm water, and bug free woods. Deep woods, cut through by sparkling whitewater. And into this scene came a group of seven. A nice number for a long leisurely paddle down 4.5 miles of whitewater. The group could form and reform, making variations, stopping to play and visit, and keeping it lively. No one was in a rush. There were two families of three, and a spare. Four parents, two kids, and an experienced local boater out for his first cruise of the year. Alex won the prize for youngest, at five. Jethro got the nod for bravest, at eleven and in his own boat. Mama Beth was second bravest, alone in an inflatable with the five year old. Kevin paddled shotgun in his play boat, and actually did not need to stay real close. It was happy and mellow paddling in the SS Kinney. No threat of falling out, except when a tired boy threatened to throw himself overboard at the end. But more on that later.
This little trip was a gamble. How does your average five year old deal with going down a long whitewater river for the first time? Well, no one actually knows as so few have done it. His last trip had been approximately eight minutes, he did great then he was done. He wanted out, and that was it. No second run. No way. This was going to be a wee bit longer, by about four hours. But the advantage was that no one would be on shore, daddy would be in a boat too, the car would be out of sight, and actually everything he was familiar with was out of sight. No roads, no paths, no trails. Just the river. And me with a dry bag full of treats. This was a good strategy.
And he liked the rapids. After the first experience of getting wet at the front he decided to sit closer to me, and that was just fine. He got nervous and started shouting, "Whoa, Whooaa, Whoooaaaa!" as we went down wave trains, but was soon wanting to go down more, or paddle back up to go down again. He had his little canoe paddle in the front, I had my kayak paddle in the back. He would sometimes get to swinging it about, or tossing it overboard, in which case it would take a rest behind me. The treat bag was useful for long pools between rapids, except the time he ate a granola bar way to slow and I had to go down stream trying to avoid all splashes so it would stay dry in his hand. It worked. The Louie is a nice progressive river so the rapids and waves kept getting bigger. By the last few he was grinning ear to ear in the drops.
He also liked the setting in general. At the start there was a nice little drop to play in, so he and the other boy got out on the rocks and had their own fun. Floating in a 1 1/2 foot "pool" that was 5 feet across with a little jet of water through the middle, scrambling on rocks, looking at various wildlife. At the half way point we all stopped at a canyon and climbed up to a rocky overlook to bask in the sun and have more treats. And at the end he was tired of sitting in the boat, so he draped himself across the bow, dragging arms and legs in the water. We didn't move very fast, but it was fun. He was rather cranky at that point and kept saying, "If I fall in, if I fall in!", and I kept assuring him, "I'll drag you out". But he really did want to go in so we worked together to almost lower him all the way into the water, but then he would get unsure so I would drag him back in. It was a very good time. And he bonded with Jethro too. Jethro was giving him tips on how to paddle, and initiated a few splash fights. Alex was shouting for Jethro to come over to our boat by the end of the trip.
I would be lying if I said there weren't a few tears here and there, mostly due to being wet and staying wet in clothing. And also getting used to paddling gear. Plus some blinding sun, and generally a new environment. Next time we will have better gear, sun glasses with floaties, and more treats. Over all, however, it was a stellar day. I am happy, and satisfied, and ready to go again when we get the chance. Kevin swears he will paddle Alex next time, and bring the dog too. For that I will surely find a way to keep the camera dry. As for this first trip, the acid test was when we got to the dock four and a half hours after our start, and Alex asked, "Why are we done???".
Today was perfect. I wish I had a camera along, but will have to resort to 1,000 words instead. Picture blue and breezy skies, warm water, and bug free woods. Deep woods, cut through by sparkling whitewater. And into this scene came a group of seven. A nice number for a long leisurely paddle down 4.5 miles of whitewater. The group could form and reform, making variations, stopping to play and visit, and keeping it lively. No one was in a rush. There were two families of three, and a spare. Four parents, two kids, and an experienced local boater out for his first cruise of the year. Alex won the prize for youngest, at five. Jethro got the nod for bravest, at eleven and in his own boat. Mama Beth was second bravest, alone in an inflatable with the five year old. Kevin paddled shotgun in his play boat, and actually did not need to stay real close. It was happy and mellow paddling in the SS Kinney. No threat of falling out, except when a tired boy threatened to throw himself overboard at the end. But more on that later.
This little trip was a gamble. How does your average five year old deal with going down a long whitewater river for the first time? Well, no one actually knows as so few have done it. His last trip had been approximately eight minutes, he did great then he was done. He wanted out, and that was it. No second run. No way. This was going to be a wee bit longer, by about four hours. But the advantage was that no one would be on shore, daddy would be in a boat too, the car would be out of sight, and actually everything he was familiar with was out of sight. No roads, no paths, no trails. Just the river. And me with a dry bag full of treats. This was a good strategy.
And he liked the rapids. After the first experience of getting wet at the front he decided to sit closer to me, and that was just fine. He got nervous and started shouting, "Whoa, Whooaa, Whoooaaaa!" as we went down wave trains, but was soon wanting to go down more, or paddle back up to go down again. He had his little canoe paddle in the front, I had my kayak paddle in the back. He would sometimes get to swinging it about, or tossing it overboard, in which case it would take a rest behind me. The treat bag was useful for long pools between rapids, except the time he ate a granola bar way to slow and I had to go down stream trying to avoid all splashes so it would stay dry in his hand. It worked. The Louie is a nice progressive river so the rapids and waves kept getting bigger. By the last few he was grinning ear to ear in the drops.
He also liked the setting in general. At the start there was a nice little drop to play in, so he and the other boy got out on the rocks and had their own fun. Floating in a 1 1/2 foot "pool" that was 5 feet across with a little jet of water through the middle, scrambling on rocks, looking at various wildlife. At the half way point we all stopped at a canyon and climbed up to a rocky overlook to bask in the sun and have more treats. And at the end he was tired of sitting in the boat, so he draped himself across the bow, dragging arms and legs in the water. We didn't move very fast, but it was fun. He was rather cranky at that point and kept saying, "If I fall in, if I fall in!", and I kept assuring him, "I'll drag you out". But he really did want to go in so we worked together to almost lower him all the way into the water, but then he would get unsure so I would drag him back in. It was a very good time. And he bonded with Jethro too. Jethro was giving him tips on how to paddle, and initiated a few splash fights. Alex was shouting for Jethro to come over to our boat by the end of the trip.
I would be lying if I said there weren't a few tears here and there, mostly due to being wet and staying wet in clothing. And also getting used to paddling gear. Plus some blinding sun, and generally a new environment. Next time we will have better gear, sun glasses with floaties, and more treats. Over all, however, it was a stellar day. I am happy, and satisfied, and ready to go again when we get the chance. Kevin swears he will paddle Alex next time, and bring the dog too. For that I will surely find a way to keep the camera dry. As for this first trip, the acid test was when we got to the dock four and a half hours after our start, and Alex asked, "Why are we done???".
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Winter Family Report
Okay, so it has been awhile since I have posted. It is not for lack of desire to connect with friends and family, but rather the old organization challenge. It has been an excellent winter in many respects so I will outline some of the fun being had in no particular order (because then I would have to remember the order).
With Alex there has been
Alex had his assessment back on December 31, and we had the great pleasure of having it confirmed that we are doing the right things with him. We didn't get any new labels, but the psychiatrist did feel that he is on his way to being fully mainstreamed. She will be attending his preschool in April and write her report to support a schooling path that will be most beneficial to him. We are not exactly sure what that will be right now, but as the year progresses it will become clearer. Unfortunately the school district has not been great at helping him fulfill his greated potential. The schools are more focused on smooth sailing for the schools, but I guess that will keep Kevin and I employed fully as parents. Alex is definitely wanting to interact with his peers now, but still cannot communicate at his age level. We are going to move up a level at the Scottish Rite Language Clinic, from his interacting with the therapist and me or Kevin, to having another kid in the sessions. We have recruited his dear friend Fraya and these sessions start this week. It should be interesting.
Kevin has been working extremely hard at the business. He has had orders coming out his ears and has been dealing with a back log since a few weeks before Christmas. People held off from ordering in November and early December, then noticed they were cold or needed new gear. He is close to caught up now, and that is a good feeling.
So, that it is for now. I will try to post more,and more frequently, but must admit that Face book has eaten into my computer time a bit. Ahh technology... once again working to find the balance. Good luck to all with enjoyment of the end of winter. Only six more weeks, sez Puxatuney Phil, and we will be on to spring!
With Alex there has been
- Sledding galore
- Downhill skiing
- "Hiking" with Jack (half being pulled on the sled)
- Tobogganing
- Winter parties with snow fun and bonfires
- A fancy Scottish dinner (Robert Burns turns 250)
- Various Beargrease Sled Dog Marathon highjinx
- A trip to Family Camp way up North
- More "hiking" with Jack
- More downhill skiing
- Watching the Inaguration on line- and promising Alex we will take him to the White House when he is 8
- Running on frozen rivers with Jack
- Skiing the trails with friends, including by moonlight
- Jumping through a hole in the ice after a nice long sauna, three times, at night by lantern light (at a balmy 10 degrees F)
Alex had his assessment back on December 31, and we had the great pleasure of having it confirmed that we are doing the right things with him. We didn't get any new labels, but the psychiatrist did feel that he is on his way to being fully mainstreamed. She will be attending his preschool in April and write her report to support a schooling path that will be most beneficial to him. We are not exactly sure what that will be right now, but as the year progresses it will become clearer. Unfortunately the school district has not been great at helping him fulfill his greated potential. The schools are more focused on smooth sailing for the schools, but I guess that will keep Kevin and I employed fully as parents. Alex is definitely wanting to interact with his peers now, but still cannot communicate at his age level. We are going to move up a level at the Scottish Rite Language Clinic, from his interacting with the therapist and me or Kevin, to having another kid in the sessions. We have recruited his dear friend Fraya and these sessions start this week. It should be interesting.
Kevin has been working extremely hard at the business. He has had orders coming out his ears and has been dealing with a back log since a few weeks before Christmas. People held off from ordering in November and early December, then noticed they were cold or needed new gear. He is close to caught up now, and that is a good feeling.
So, that it is for now. I will try to post more,and more frequently, but must admit that Face book has eaten into my computer time a bit. Ahh technology... once again working to find the balance. Good luck to all with enjoyment of the end of winter. Only six more weeks, sez Puxatuney Phil, and we will be on to spring!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Our Best Present
We just secured the best Christmas present we could have asked for. Alex is going to get to play with (and be assessed by) "The Autism Whisperer". She is a wonderful therapist out of the Cities who has been working with kids with all forms of autism since the 70's. She is called in by agencies all over Minnesota when they need a refined diagnosis and accurate read on tough cases. Alex may not be a tough case, but the more specific information we can get the better. Also, the information about autism out in the world is overwhelming and often conflicting. It is terrifying to be experimenting with your child's life, and even though we feel we have had some miraculous guidance so far we are far from confident that we are doing all that we can. Just once I am hoping we will have some definitive information. Our assessment is December 31 in the Cities, it is slated to be fully covered by insurance, and the next day our insurance will change to a provider this therapist cannot accept. Yikes. Methinks the angels are with us. Happy Holidays to you!!!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Meet Jack
Here he is, our bouncing baby Border Collie. He is truly a sweet dog. Jack Flash Kinney (JFK for short) is the newest member of our family, and slotting in well. Loves winter. Adores running. Happily entertained by anything that bounces, is furry, or can be thrown. And our squirrels fit all three categories. Has not caught one yet, but got a mouth full of tail fur last week. A very good boy, he comes when he is called and is catching on to house rules. Alex has taken to leaning on him in the last few days, and pulling his fur, and even threw a soccer ball on his head. Jack has taken it all in stride and knows that he is not allowed to eat the child. Stop by when you can, he would love to play.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
More on that Good Old Hound
I don't have photos from before Alex on my computer, but from the beginning of that time I have many. So I picked out a few favorites to highlight our family transition. This is Lucky just after Alex was born in 2003, we had had her for seven years and she was 8 or 9 years old. Always a good girl, and always game, she went with the flow. She is pictured with the monster squash we harvested that September. We were all afraid it might eat someone, but it made wonderful soup.
Here Lucky is contemplating this new addition. It didn't throw sticks, but had interesting smells.
She decided, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."
"Besides, my parents sure are having fun with him. "
"I might as well have fun too..."
And then Lucky inspired Beeswax to get in on the fun...
That may have been part of an evil plot.
But no, Lucky loved her Beeswax, and didn't want him to miss anything.
I can't really believe that she was already at least seven by the time Alex came along. I always saw her as such a puppy. Wagging, happy, wanting to go for a run in the woods. Chasing chipmunks in the garage (she even caught one once), barking at strangers, hiding from deer. She was stood down by a baby dove one day. She was really a softie, but she was very proud that she was mistaken for a Rottweiller once. Well, okay she had some help with that one. She was on my bed back in '97, she never left it when I was not home at the rental, and my roommate Jay had a friend over. He was walking by my dark room and heard the dog growling as she defended my futon. It was dark in my room and light in the hall, and Jay was winding him up. The poor guy thought he was going to get eaten. Of course she never left the bed, and he never saw how short her legs were. Ah, the golden moments of her life. She also caught a pigeon once, but I think it ran into something before she grabbed it. She had such a soft mouth that she did not crush it, but I did have to pry her jaws open to get her to drop it. She was great in a canoe, after her first trip. Once she realized that escape was not an option, and dang those Boundary Waters lakes are cold. After one dive and swim near a portage she let us lift her into the boat without protest forevermore. In fact she evetually self loaded, enjoyed her trips, and had one memorable night at a camp site with a whole troop of mice. It was an island and she ran after those little critters to her hearts content. Never caught one. Other highlights included a stint as a sled dog, and a few skijouring tours. She chased a kayak into Superior bay once, but never did like the surf. In fact she never liked to swim and would not go deeper than her chest if she could avoid it. And that was only about four inches deep. But snow, she loved it. She'd go into a four foot drift, no problem. Only occasionally had to get rescued. Mud, also no problem to her. And as for things worse than mud, well she liked those too. When she was younger, faster, and went further afield she rolled in some absolutely nasty things. And boy was she proud when she did that. Could not understand what all the fuss was about from the humans either. Oh, Lucky Dog. She had her own sleeping bag, and several of her own quilts. Even had her own tent for awhile. We wont talk about the toys, she had every one that she'd ever been given that had not been lost or stolen by another dog. We even gave her a fence (a joint gift to Alex too), but she really didn't appreciate that one. Prefered to range the hood on her own terms. Fortunately as she got older she became a bit of a Houdini and got in many unauthorized wanders this past summer. Several heart attacks were had when we realized she had disappeared AGAIN from the yard but all those stories turned out good. On a family outing she met her first bear on the trails last spring, although I don't think she actually saw it, and that is probably a good thing.
I could go on and on, but you get the idea. Twelve years is a very long time and there are so many good memories racked up. The yard is empty now. The house is quiet. I am tired from crying so much. The cat is louder than usual today, looking for his companion. We are coming to terms with her death, and celebrating her life. It was a great one, and we are so blessed that it was my truck that she ran in front of so many years ago.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
A Very Good Dog
Lucky in '07Stop the clocks. Cover the windows. Put on your black. A very good dog has died. Lucky Dog, who was between 13-14 years old, passed on yesterday at 4pm. She was in kidney failure, and had been slowly and quietly declining for several months. When she stopped eating last week we realized something more than old age was wrong. When she could not eat without throwing up, or go on a simple walk with any pleasure, we knew it was time. She had not let us know how sick she was. She only wanted to please us. As always.
I found Lucky August summer of 1996. She was running loose on the streets, dodging cars, and ran across four lanes of traffic and right in front of my truck. I did not hit her, and thus she got her name. But it turned out I was the Lucky one. She had been neglected, abused, did not know what the inside of a house was. Probably left in a back yard on a chain her whole life. She did have a collar on, but it was so tight I had to cut it off. No one claimed her, thank goodness. After a few weeks of being fed and loved her personality came out. She started to shine, and even though no one would take her originally, and I had to move to accommodate her, I knew I had done the right thing. She got trained up in a snap, loved runs in the woods, and always came when called. After a month or two she even started to play, she was no longer the beaten down and neglected pooch I had found. Kevin was living his last months in Colorado and he flew in for a visit. I will never forget when she jumped out of my truck at the airport. She was very happy to meet him and he just laughed and laughed. She did look pretty funny with her big dog body and short legs. She sat on his lap for the three hour ride up to the North Shore, just happy as a clam getting her neck scritched.
She was always there after that. For every outing, every road trip, every friend coming over. She traveled the country many times. We were convinced that most of the people who traveled to our wedding came to see Lucky. And we did not disappoint. She was part of the ceremony, and she went on our honeymoon too. 12 years she lived with us. I will not lie and say she loved Alex. She was bumped as primary child and she knew it. But we gave her as much priority time as we could, and she never had a mean thing to say to the little intruder. In fact, once he started dropping food she saw his value, and even came to appreciate him. But she was always our dog, mine and Kevin's. Even though the cat came first, she was more of a child. She ventured into the world with us, and was always more dependent.
It has been hard. So hard to lose her. We chose to put her down, once we knew what everything added up to. We could have put her on IV's, and pain meds, and had more blood draws, tests, and procedures. She would have suffered it all, she would have continued to try to please us. But she could not eat. And she could not walk in the woods. And she just wanted to sleep. We did the best we could for her- there were no good answers since we could not turn back time. We were both there with her in the end. She went peacefully and in my arms with Kevin holding her paw. Alex had said good-bye and excuded himself to play. We buried her in the woods at Camp Bark in the Dark, next to another doggy friend.
We already miss her so much it is unbelieveable. She was the best kind of dog anyone could ever wish for. Please say a toast to Lucky, the Very Good Dog.
Friday, October 10, 2008
The Big Event
Kevin and I renewing our vows (10th anniversary)...did you know they expire?? And yes, that is a gold strapless dress. I knew I could not beat my boys (in fashion) but figured I could join them. Hope I didn't look too dorky. Or old!
Alex held up very well in part II, his baptism. He was very shy but didn't mind the water too much.
With bow tie, "fox" sporran (former beannie baby), mini-Prince Charlie jacket (with real silver buttons), and fly plaid (the over the shoulder bit), Alex was dressed to meet the Queen. And yes, those were girls shoes, at least before Kevin added an extra buckle on the toe. He swears they are to proper shoe. Look out therapy bills...
And here the Kinney men are, actually in their Douglas tartans, as well as me and Grandma Becky. Granddad's mother was a Douglas, so they can wear Douglas or Mackenzie tartan ("Mackenzie" being the derivation "Kinney" came from). They all have such wonderful gear because Kevin sewed all the kilts and everything he and Alex are wearing. Yes, it is tough to live with such genius! Note that Alex and Kevin both have matching tartan vests, Kevin is trying to start a trend...So, enough about the outfits. The event was exactly what it needed to be. Pastor Kathy was a wonderful officiant and it was lovely. We did not get outside due to threatening weather and various challenges with standing for long periods. So we were inside the foyer of our church, which is being remodeled. Other than the echos, which Alex didn't like, it was marvelous. These photos are the first we got to cyberspace, ones with better lighting may follow. I wish we had a photo of all family and friends and pets...maybe in the next batch. We kept it nice and small, but now I wish we had planned like a wedding! Oh well. Grandma's Becky, Jean, and Marty came, Grandfathers Chaz and Bruce, Uncle Craig, Alex's godparents, and a small crew of friends were in attendance. The whole week was a bit of a blur, with lots of visiting, food, and catching up. We wish we would have had many hours more with everyone. Alex was a trooper and even had a good amount of fun.
Now we are renewed, I forgot to check the next expiration date. Alex is well baptized and ready for confirmation. Well, maybe not just yet. Peace Church is a wonderful community and we are glad to have him grow up with a nice solid spiritual foundation. Fall is moving on here in the Northland and we are truly at Peak color now, with rain coming down. In two weeks all the color will be gone, but not forgotten. I am in the middle of my work week, first one back after vacation and not so bad. I knew I'd better get this post in before Fall gets away from me. On Monday I have my final shoulder surgery, just a little one to take out my Gore-tex strap, but I don't know if I will be able to type much for awhile. Now I am off to work, and will hopefully squeeze in a hike tomorrow with Alex and Lucky.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Better and Worse
Well, all the things I was whining about have gotten better. Back to a more centered and even place, happy and mellow. Except for the fact that a family member has died. My Uncle Earl, my mother's sister's husband, passed away yesterday. It has been sobering. He had been ill with cancer, but we all like to think the people we know will beat the odds. And we forget that we will all Not beat the odds at some point. Mortality is tricky. Dwell on death too much and you start to die yourself, forget about it completely and meaning slips out the window. Kevin, Alex, and I are going down to Southern Wisconsin for the funeral, if I can get off work. But that is another story. My Uncle Earl was a great big man who liked everyone to enjoy themselves. He and my Aunt Sandy had three boys and a rough and tumble house. All I know about Football and Eucher(a trump card game) I learned from them. It will be good to see the family, Uncle Earl will be missed.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
The Big 05
As promised, the Alex photo from his birthday. We have tried the bike (and new helmet) and he is liking it more and more. How can this be??ps He picked red this year for his birthday decorations...last year it was pink :-)
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Birthday Boy
Mr. Alex turned 5 years old yesterday. 5! How can this be? Just the other yesterday we were having a baby. Now we have a bona fide pre-schooler. This must be some kind of magic. Or brain trauma. Either way it is mysterious. I told him the story of the day he was born (the cleaned up version without all the angst, trauma, and medical personnel) and he greatly enjoyed the pictures. He is getting very interested in the growing process and the stories of him as a "bayybeeee", as he says. Right now he keeps climbing into my lap and trying to type, so I will keep this short. His big birthday present was a bicycle with training wheels and we are all very excited about that. I will post pictures when I can, after he stops jumping in my lap and I get some coffee in!
A word from Alex:
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A word from Alex:
ccccccccccccccccccvbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb
Monday, July 7, 2008
Room to Breathe
Wow, time is flying. I feel like I just got home from my trip to Wausau, and it has actually been a week. Every moment has been scheduled and this is my first chance to get to my blog. Yowzers. Where to start? Wausau.
Back to my home town. It is always very strange to go back to Wausau. Part of me feels like I never left, but then I run across new stuff all the time. The wonderful, open, grassy square downtown throws me (it used to be a rundown Kresgees). My high school is condos. And there is a new giant building towering over the lagoon where I first sat in a slalom kayak and got totally hooked. My old house looks the same, but the trees are 25 feet taller and much bushier. It is all rather trippy. But also nice and comfortable. I stayed out at the camp I went to as a little kid, that was really cool. And I also stayed with in-laws (my sisters) and friends(my dear friend Jennifer's parents), and that was even better. I met a whole bunch of new paddling folks, and hooked up with many old paddling friends. I was paddling, checking out a slalom clinic, and racing too, and I got lots of on water time. Since I am not as young as I used to be (and not as dumb as I used to be) I stretched every day and did very decent warm ups almost every time I got wet. Not a single injury (knock on wood) and only one power sinus douching. The weather was fine, and the coaching even finer. My biggest problem was my own head, and a fair amount of rusty-ness. I was not very happy with myself for the first four days, but by Sunday I was pulling off some satisfying runs. I was one off in my hoped for finishing places on both days (third not second...out of four), but when it came to the sprint for cash I finally got what I wanted. Second place and $25. What could be finer? I also made it on to the local news (hee-hee).
The whitewater was everything I remembered, and more. They have rearranged the Wausau course over the last few years and there are four new holes. Those were surprising, at first. Then there were the moves the coaches were making us do. Tough, technical, and frustrating. Or I should say, FRUSTRATING. I eventually got every single move that was killing me, at least once, but never quite all together. Oh well, next time. And besides, it was still fun. Or maybe more fun because of that.
And then there were family and friends. I started and ended well. On my first day I got to see my mom, my sister, my niece and nephew, and my sisters in-laws (who are great). In the middle I met up with my old dear friends Shereen and met her boys and her husband. We had an excellent supper and next day I got to get the boys in boats and show them the ropes. They did great! And for the grand finale I stayed with Mom and Dad Davis and my final stop in town was at their new condo (absolutely gorgeous) for a shower, a wonderful bite to eat, and to try and catch the news. No luck, but showed off my medal, hugs all around, and hit the road again. It was quite a week.
I missed my boys terribly while I was gone, and must bring them the next time. It was very odd being out on my own, like I used to do all the time. Especially weird to be at the camp with new people and footloose paddlers my own age. It has probably been a good 10 years since I have done something like that, maybe my last week long instructor clinics. Good to know I can still jump in cold with a group of new people and find my place pretty quickly.
And now, home again home again jiggety jig. I got in last Sunday at midnight and up and out by 8:00am the next morning. We have a chock-a-block activity schedule now so it was all go, all week. And work at night. I kept hoping for no-pay-days but alas, no luck. I did get one...but it was revoked 10 minutes later. Needless to say, I was less than pleased. But I muddled through. Alex is doing really great, his language and concepts are blossoming. We are in at the Scottish Language Clinic for the summer, and moving forward on eating issues with an 8 week feeding clinic. Otherwise know as "Play with your Food!". He even ate a rice crispy bar this week...now that's my boy. And my other "boy" is doing well too. Tired, after sending me to play, but seems quite happy. Looks like our Adaptive work is not so dead, and may simply be in a deep sleep. Will keep you posted.
And now I have a week off. Not a full week, due to some switching, but a good start. Planning on getting a little rest, and a little breathing space. Going camping next weekend, and have our local slalom the next weekend, so still busy, but once I get some downloads in order you can see the grin on my face. Happy summer...
Back to my home town. It is always very strange to go back to Wausau. Part of me feels like I never left, but then I run across new stuff all the time. The wonderful, open, grassy square downtown throws me (it used to be a rundown Kresgees). My high school is condos. And there is a new giant building towering over the lagoon where I first sat in a slalom kayak and got totally hooked. My old house looks the same, but the trees are 25 feet taller and much bushier. It is all rather trippy. But also nice and comfortable. I stayed out at the camp I went to as a little kid, that was really cool. And I also stayed with in-laws (my sisters) and friends(my dear friend Jennifer's parents), and that was even better. I met a whole bunch of new paddling folks, and hooked up with many old paddling friends. I was paddling, checking out a slalom clinic, and racing too, and I got lots of on water time. Since I am not as young as I used to be (and not as dumb as I used to be) I stretched every day and did very decent warm ups almost every time I got wet. Not a single injury (knock on wood) and only one power sinus douching. The weather was fine, and the coaching even finer. My biggest problem was my own head, and a fair amount of rusty-ness. I was not very happy with myself for the first four days, but by Sunday I was pulling off some satisfying runs. I was one off in my hoped for finishing places on both days (third not second...out of four), but when it came to the sprint for cash I finally got what I wanted. Second place and $25. What could be finer? I also made it on to the local news (hee-hee).
The whitewater was everything I remembered, and more. They have rearranged the Wausau course over the last few years and there are four new holes. Those were surprising, at first. Then there were the moves the coaches were making us do. Tough, technical, and frustrating. Or I should say, FRUSTRATING. I eventually got every single move that was killing me, at least once, but never quite all together. Oh well, next time. And besides, it was still fun. Or maybe more fun because of that.
And then there were family and friends. I started and ended well. On my first day I got to see my mom, my sister, my niece and nephew, and my sisters in-laws (who are great). In the middle I met up with my old dear friends Shereen and met her boys and her husband. We had an excellent supper and next day I got to get the boys in boats and show them the ropes. They did great! And for the grand finale I stayed with Mom and Dad Davis and my final stop in town was at their new condo (absolutely gorgeous) for a shower, a wonderful bite to eat, and to try and catch the news. No luck, but showed off my medal, hugs all around, and hit the road again. It was quite a week.
I missed my boys terribly while I was gone, and must bring them the next time. It was very odd being out on my own, like I used to do all the time. Especially weird to be at the camp with new people and footloose paddlers my own age. It has probably been a good 10 years since I have done something like that, maybe my last week long instructor clinics. Good to know I can still jump in cold with a group of new people and find my place pretty quickly.
And now, home again home again jiggety jig. I got in last Sunday at midnight and up and out by 8:00am the next morning. We have a chock-a-block activity schedule now so it was all go, all week. And work at night. I kept hoping for no-pay-days but alas, no luck. I did get one...but it was revoked 10 minutes later. Needless to say, I was less than pleased. But I muddled through. Alex is doing really great, his language and concepts are blossoming. We are in at the Scottish Language Clinic for the summer, and moving forward on eating issues with an 8 week feeding clinic. Otherwise know as "Play with your Food!". He even ate a rice crispy bar this week...now that's my boy. And my other "boy" is doing well too. Tired, after sending me to play, but seems quite happy. Looks like our Adaptive work is not so dead, and may simply be in a deep sleep. Will keep you posted.
And now I have a week off. Not a full week, due to some switching, but a good start. Planning on getting a little rest, and a little breathing space. Going camping next weekend, and have our local slalom the next weekend, so still busy, but once I get some downloads in order you can see the grin on my face. Happy summer...
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Maybe it's not ALL good : Alex Report #3
Uuufff-da mackie, as we say up north, it's been quite a month. Not long after Alex Report #2, where I stated, "It's all good.", the worm turned. Progress seemed to stop and we even maybe went a little backwards. Alex began to increase his repetitive phrases, his frustration tolerance got shorter and finally became non-existent, his repetitive behaviors increased, compliance decreased, and everything became a fight. Everything. School ended. Summer began. Routine evaporated. Parental tempers became increasingly frayed and finally broke a few times. Alex began to spend a lot of time in time out. It was looking to be a long, long summer. To add insult to injury, there was insurance trouble, things not being covered that should be, and annoying difficulty scheduling his horseback riding, which kept the rest of the summer schedule on hold. Plus the school cancelled one summer school day (down to two from three), and dared to take a one week break. Yikes, what a mess. Meanwhile the weather was going nuts in the rest of the country and world, with floods, fires, and earthquakes, and other friends are having huge upheavals in their lives. At least our problems are minuscule compared to true tragedy.
But they are still ours, and fortunately the worm turned again and we may all survive this period. The big break was a new parent group at the Scottish Language Clinic with my hero Tahirih. She gave us all a primer in the Floortime Method. It is a way of teaching and playing with kids with communication difficulties, and it is awesome. I have more to say but my boys are back from an overnight and it's time for some "floortime" with Alex. Apologies for a short, incomplete post but summer isn't looking so bad after all.
But they are still ours, and fortunately the worm turned again and we may all survive this period. The big break was a new parent group at the Scottish Language Clinic with my hero Tahirih. She gave us all a primer in the Floortime Method. It is a way of teaching and playing with kids with communication difficulties, and it is awesome. I have more to say but my boys are back from an overnight and it's time for some "floortime" with Alex. Apologies for a short, incomplete post but summer isn't looking so bad after all.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Happy Mother's Day!
Hello to all the mom's out there. As I was racing in the Mother's Day race there were groups of cheerers on the route. My friend Sara and I were running together and 6 teens started yelling for us (it was later in the race and we were towards the back...you get the best cheers that way). One of them shouts out, "Are you Mom's?" and we yelled, "Yes!". They started cheering super loud so I yelled, "Are you Kids??" (their mom's were probably in the race), "Yes!", so we cheered for them. Then Sara yells as we pass on by, "We couldn't have done it without you!".
It is such a hard job, parenting. And so great. The toughest job you'll ever love. Payback for all the trouble we caused as kids, and paying it forward for future generations. It is the most life changing thing I have experienced so far, and I am just happy that I have been in a position to work hard at it and do the right thing. I see so many families that have blown it in a big, bad way. I have heard the howls of despair of the abused and abandoned child. The child's deepest question in this situation is, "Why didn't they try harder?", and, "What did I do wrong?". They will never believe someone else's answers, they want their own parents. The kids who are worst off have been both abused and abandoned. Kids seem to be able to recover from either insult, but both together is the ultimate double whammy. Of course those parents don't deserve their kids anyways, but it is a Catch 22, what to do because the kids always want the parents. But you can't make someone be responsible and loving, caring and hard working.
Which is why we should all thank all the responsible and loving people in our lives. They did not have to be that way. And that makes them all the more amazing and inspiring. Of course, no one is perfect, but it is the trying that is really important. The sticking with it, not being too hard on ourselves, and realizing parenting is the hardest job in the world...with the greatest rewards.
I have loved being a mom. I had no idea how amazing it would be, or how hard. Alex is four now so I am pretty used to the job. Early on I realized how much I needed to thank my Mom for all she had done. The millions of little things that make up motherhood. The thankless nature of all those good meals, clean clothes, and nice smelling bathrooms. All the amazing holidays and celebrations. All the times I got patched up and encouraged. How I was guarded and allowed to grow. It's a big job, and I guess that's why Mom's hearts are built with extra room in them. Thanks for everything you've done Mom. Happy Mother's Day to you, and all the other mom's I know!!
It is such a hard job, parenting. And so great. The toughest job you'll ever love. Payback for all the trouble we caused as kids, and paying it forward for future generations. It is the most life changing thing I have experienced so far, and I am just happy that I have been in a position to work hard at it and do the right thing. I see so many families that have blown it in a big, bad way. I have heard the howls of despair of the abused and abandoned child. The child's deepest question in this situation is, "Why didn't they try harder?", and, "What did I do wrong?". They will never believe someone else's answers, they want their own parents. The kids who are worst off have been both abused and abandoned. Kids seem to be able to recover from either insult, but both together is the ultimate double whammy. Of course those parents don't deserve their kids anyways, but it is a Catch 22, what to do because the kids always want the parents. But you can't make someone be responsible and loving, caring and hard working.
Which is why we should all thank all the responsible and loving people in our lives. They did not have to be that way. And that makes them all the more amazing and inspiring. Of course, no one is perfect, but it is the trying that is really important. The sticking with it, not being too hard on ourselves, and realizing parenting is the hardest job in the world...with the greatest rewards.
I have loved being a mom. I had no idea how amazing it would be, or how hard. Alex is four now so I am pretty used to the job. Early on I realized how much I needed to thank my Mom for all she had done. The millions of little things that make up motherhood. The thankless nature of all those good meals, clean clothes, and nice smelling bathrooms. All the amazing holidays and celebrations. All the times I got patched up and encouraged. How I was guarded and allowed to grow. It's a big job, and I guess that's why Mom's hearts are built with extra room in them. Thanks for everything you've done Mom. Happy Mother's Day to you, and all the other mom's I know!!
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