2007/2008

Okay okay, I'm blogging again! I have started to be harassed on this blog (see previous post comments) and also my Face book account, so it is time. My public is waiting (ha ha), my friends and family need more ways to fritter away their time. Just got back from a run with the new pup, and that always clears my head very well. Lord knows it is pretty cob-webby up there. I got to thinking about why I was not blogging. It has been over a month since my last tiny post, and before that my tributes to Lucky held sway. Part of me is just not ready to move on. Lucky was my first real Grown Up dog. She was there shortly after I moved to Duluth, already in love with Kevin, and unsure where our future would take us. I was still technically single, and she was there through engagement, marriage, and settling down. She was my, and our, adventure dog. Getting us out into the Northwoods, keeping us on the trails. She was our reluctant house dog too. And a darn good one. But now we have another dog and a new chapter is beginning. Before that really gets rolling I need to review some more.

2007 sucked. Plain and simple. It was the trifecta of Infertility, Autism, and Injury. It was so bad that I think I may have some PTSD from the whole deal. Of course we got through everything, found the light at the end of the tunnel, and even the joy along the way, but overall I would not wish such a year on anyone. 2008 was not so bad. Progress was made in all areas, even if it was sometimes only acceptance and redirection of thinking. I had a complete and total recovery of my shoulder and even won a few medals at an awesome kayak week in Wausau. Alex continues to amaze us and we love him more than words can say. Business is still tooting along, if we have made it this far we are likely to do fine. And as for the expanding family, well, we decided to get a puppy. I turned 40, and that threw me for a surprising loop. Still not so sure about that one but really, what can you do?? Have gotten into some nice healthy habits, and have not been dead last in a running race since '07. And we even bought ski passes for this year so am bound to get out on the slopes, something I have not done regularly since my ski bum days back in '92. But Lucky died and that has been terrible, and sad, and heart breaking. She was a one in a million dog, at least for us. She was so deep in our family we would have sent her to college if we could. And the loss of her magnified all other losses, recent and past. Plus it came at the darkening of the year. When the cold creeps into unaccustomed bones, before one concedes the battle and pulls out ALL the wool and fleece and long underwear, and even boots. One cannot stay warm just by putting on a coat, as in summer and fall. It takes extra measures, and before they are in place the pain of cold can be intense. Plus we had a new dog. A dog I was not ready for. He was supposed to perk Lucky up. She was supposed to teach him the ropes. Instead we were deep in grief, he arrived three days after we put her down. A pup who could not be her. And who had many needs. And who did not know not to pee on the carpet. Or to ask to go out. Or how to come when called. Or to stay in the yard. New dogs are much more work than old dogs, and the future is not certain. You do not know if they can learn all the important things. You do not know if they will bite your child in the face, or not. And they do not love you exactly like your old dog did. But through the darkness there was a spark of hope, a flame of desire, a fire for a good life to continue.

I do an excellent job of compartmentalizing my life. Around Jack I have been a good doggie mom. Around Alex I have done all the care taking and games and therapies, and fun stuff. At work I have been my usual focused self. Where I have fallen down Kevin has picked me up. A few dear souls have heard pieces of my whining. And in the quiet times I have been working on integrating it all. The holidays have me reminiscing, sifting out the bad, lifting up the good, laughing at the laughable. I have sent out the cards from 2007 that didn't make it and sat in their envelops all year...that was about half. I have yet to put together a 2008 card, it may need to wait into the new year. Business is actually rocking right now, so the tanking economy is not taking us down on this round. Work has been wild, but that is okay. Jack is turning out just fine. Maybe even more than fine.

So, perhaps the cob-webs are now out. I promise to get out more posts, take more pictures, and keep the connections going. Maybe next I will ramble about cutting down on coffee, chatter about the up sides of the down economy, or just natter on about the new pup and wonderful snow. We shall see...