The Alex Report- #1

The very early days, Alex is the one who is sleeping. 4 months old at Christmas.

Our fabulous boy and friends at 6 months old. Valentines day.

Alex and friends his first Spring. Having an off morning- about 9 months old.


It is well and truly time for the first of The Alex Reports. I have put up his picture, and a few snippits, but there are fans out there ready for more. First off, a little background. Okay, a lot of background. Alex is a lovely boy. Bright and funny and loving. A real sweetheart at home and deeply enamored of many of his little friends. He also has been diagnosed with Autism-mild in nature, Expressive Language Disorder, and Developmental Delay. This, as you might guess, rocked our world. It has taken Kevin and I about a year to come to terms with the concept of Autism. What it means and does not mean, what to worry about and not worry about, who to go to and where to go from here.

It all started because we have a huge and wonderful group of friends who all seemed to have kids at about the same time. Alex was in with a mix of babies from the start, and he just seemed to be moving at his own pace. Now, I have never been one to worry about the mainstream, but when my friend Sam (who is an early childhood specialist) gently suggested we have him evaluated at 18 months due to his unique pacing I could not ignore it. I tried. We dragged our feet. That first phone call was really hard to make. But made it was, and we were on our way. We started with the schools, and they have been excellent. Early on it was just Speech Delay that we were working on and worried about. Before age 3 the specialists came to our house(it's never been so clean), and since he turned 3 Alex has been going to school. When he started taking the bus he was too little to climb the steps! There have been adjustments of program and diagnosis along the way and he is just about to finish up with his second year in the classroom. We got the Autism diagnosis about a year ago, in April, when Alex was 3 1/2 years old.

Why Autism? Well, it all really comes down to social abilities for Alex, and learning style. He does not learn effortlessly, like most typical kids. He never played and experimented with toys. He did not pick up language. He did not point, or imitate, or want to be with other children. Groups stressed him out, and unfamiliar people freaked him out. Basically, he had to be taught how to speak, and play, and socialize. The good news is that he is an excellent learner. Once he learns something he has it, but he has to be taught. Everything. And he is not a big fan of change. Plus he does not really speak the language. It is as if you were dropped into the middle of a foreign country and knew not a single word. You would smile and nod at people if they were nice and moved slow and concentrated on you, but you certainly could not jump into the middle of a sporting event or the market place and understand what was going on. Much less be successful and communicative. His peers are currently light years beyond him in language comprehension and acquisition. And he does not yet understand emotions, his own or others. He is beginning to, but is not at all sophisticated. He will likely have difficulty all his life with that one. A hallmark of Autism Spectrum Disorders is not being able to easily read the multitude of subtle emotional cues, therefore not understanding what people are really saying. They say that verbal communication is actually only 7% the words that are said, and 93% the tone, rate, volume, context, and body language used.

So, there is a lot of work to be done with our little guy. But, like I said, he is an excellent learner. And we are learning to be where he is at so we can be better teachers. The Scottish Rite Language Clinic has been the most helpful with this one. There are amazing people there, and they even have a great blog. It is called autismgames and is all about how to play to get into the autism world, and then bring that world closer to the typical world. Playing those games with Alex likely has a lot to do with his recent and excellent progress. That and all the great teaching at his school. Plus his wonderful little self growing older. He is learning and succeeding every day, picking up new things, and getting more in step with his little friends. We are in a delightful stage at home, no opposition to speak of and always wanting to "play Mama". This is HUGE! So huge that I will have to save the details for my next blog. But rest assured, there is plenty more to come.