I have just gotten off my seven day stretch at work. I work on a locked behavioral health hospital unit for children and teens. These thoughts were rolling around in my head as I ran through the woods on a much needed workout.
I love my job because I am active. I could never sit in one spot all day, I would go nuts for sure. I learn something new every day; about my kids, myself, mental illness, living fully, or the realities of life. I am privy to extremely confidential information and try very hard to keep that trust. I am challenged every day to keep positive, keep learning, keep hope, and keep giving...without being sucked dry. I work with some of the most amazing people on the planet. All of our kids are brave and scared and tough and have huge problems, but also amazing strengths.
I hate my job because I see a slice of life that can be very depressing. There are many wars going on and my unit is on the front lines of all of them. The war on drugs, the war on alcohol abuse, the war on sexual abuse, the war on hopelessness, the war on wasted potential, the war on ignorance, the war on untreated and misunderstood mental illness, the war on criminal activity, the war on selfishness, the war on prejudice. I am sure there is more but that is what pops to mind. And in all these wars there are victims, and they come through our doors. Their stories are often terribly sad, and their behaviors can be quite disturbing. What they have come through they take on themselves. Seven year old perps, eleven year old criminals, and teenagers who will spend their entire lives in and out of hospitals and institution. One gets tired of being lied to, shut out, ignored, needled, degraded, yelled at, spit at, kicked, and attacked. Especially when the staff really just wants to help.
Why do I keep coming back?? Well, after getting past the nasty behaviors and disturbing stories, you find the kids. They are real. They are multi-dimensional. And they are not hopeless. They respond amazingly to respect, consistencey, education, caring, and safety. I find, in every single kid that comes through, something that I can like, admire, relate to, or understand. They can be fun and funny, sweet and creative, deep and inspiring. They all have families, and friends, and people rooting for them. Some we even help while they stay with us, and that is enormously satisfying. Others we just hope and pray that the seeds we plant will take root some day.
I am sure there are more reasons I love and hate my job, let's just say it is an education of the most interesting kind.
3 comments:
Awesome post, Beth. Some days are more difficult than others to keep it positive, but despite the chaotic and tragic tales, you always keep it positive while keeping it real. To me you are an inspiration, both inside of work and out. And for that I thank you!
Thank God there are people like you doing this work. You're awesome. K x
Wow. Powerful stuff. Amazing insight. Wow. I also really appreciate the paradox of loving something and hating something at the same time. Thanks for sharing this...really makes me think.
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