I may just be deluding myself, but here is the plan for the summer for Alex. Learning to initiate socialization. Alex has learned so much over the last few years, and this is one of the final keys to a bright future. So far we have taken on: emotional ties to safe adults, emotional regulation, communication with adults, friendships with a few select peers, activities of daily living- dressing, bathing, eating, brushing teeth, zipping zippers, etc., navigating around and responding to same age peers, typical classroom participation, regular school work, and empathy and understanding emotions. Taken them on, and still working on most of them, with general great success. So much success that it is time. It is time for him to blossom into initiations.
Initiations? Sounds so clinical, but it is key to opening the whole world. Without initiation he is dependent forever on assistance. Without initiation he cannot be truly creative. We may be jumping the gun a bit, as he is not a really great copier, and copying comes first on the developmental ladder, but he's his own man so why not. He so wants to be around his friends that I can't help thinking it is time. But how to do it? He can initiate with his closest and safest friends, so how to broaden that out? Make more kids safe? With the help of Congdon Creek Summer Camps.
The camps are perfect. Geared to 3-9 year olds and based out of the preschool he attended when he was 5, they play all day long. They play, and hike, do projects, and play some more. It is a gold mine of communication opportunities. The staff is top notch, and they handle everything that comes along with style and grace. His particular teacher also has a special education degree, and was his teacher at 5, and also did her internship in his 4 year old ASD classroom. Can't get much more perfect than that. When I met with the staff before summer to talk about encouraging initiations, and also good motivation strategies and using multiple cues with him, they didn't even blink. They do all that and more, on a daily basis. Including promoting positive social skills with all the kids. Heaven.
Alex has been at camp for two weeks now. He has met up with old friends at camp, and made new friends too. The staff keeps me updated on his progress, and he is making gains every day. They are prompting and he is responding...and initiating. He does not just do his own thing anymore, and it is not a royal fight to get him to interact with the kids. He is participating fully, and developing his own style. He is king of the monkey bars, and loves to read with and to other kids. Yesterday he spent much of the morning playing "puppies" with one of the girls, barking and snuffing noses. And the other part of the morning he was discussing Kung Fu Panda 2 with one of the boys. Ahhhh, Bliss.
What you have to understand is that when Alex was 5 he could hardly be in the same room with the other kids. He maybe talked to two kids on his own all year. He had a paraprofessional with him much of the time, yet could not connect. He was very handsy with the kids, it was his only way to communicate. He would roll on one girl that he particularly liked. He always looked like a deer in headlights. The staff put in major work just for him to participate and partially work on projects. His desire to be with kids blossomed that year, but there was very little appropriate interaction. He was in his own orbit, getting closer and closer to the others, but still miles away. It is a joy and a delight to see how much he has changed, and to watch him fully participate. Yesterday he asked his dad if they can make a chocolate cake for the staff... he happily agreed.
So, there is the meat of the Alex summer. Four days a week he is at Congdon Creek Summer Camps. The rest of the time is dedicated to playing outside, camping trips, acting class, kayaking trips, play dates, reading, math, writing, stories, baking, eating good food, biking, building a rocket with his dad, and putting the coffee on in the morning. Santa Barbara may not be in the cards for this summer, but with the help of their ideas (initiations being a big one) and books, I think we will do alright.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
Locked In
If you know any Autistic kids You Must Watch This
Wow, this is it in a nutshell. I cannot help but think of Alex first when I see this. Granted, this girl has a much larger challenge than Alex, but challenge is challenge. It is profoundly hopeful, and also sad. "Never give up.", they say. That is much easier said than done.
My heart is cut to ribbons every day with my little guy. Every day. Cut to ribbons with fears for the future and the past. Fears that it will not turn out all right. Fears that I did things very wrong in the past that can never be undone. Fear of the darkness that gathers at the edge of consciousness and doing. Fear that we are not doing things right, right now, and will lose our way in the future. When I see behaviors that are outside of the norm, I fear he will never be truly accepted. Or, more accurately, that since he IS accepted now and has many wonderful people in his life, both little and big, perhaps that will vanish in the future. The fears gather, and multiply, and prowl just outside of my consciousness.
And then I hug my Alex. Or he gives me a kiss. Or I pick him up and give him a big snuggle. Or he shows me something, anything. Or I look at his picture, or artwork, or think of his brave little self. Any of a hundred things that happen every day, and my heart is healed. Cut by fears, healed by love. Love shining out of him, and through me too. Love of others who hold him dear in their hearts as well.
It is a rough road, having a kid with a disability. Rough indeed. But the rewards are great too. Amazing. More than one would ever expect, until you know a brave little soul like Alex. Or even one quite different. Fighting a different battle, having different challenges. All of the brave kids. Some of them still locked in. Locked into their challenges, into behaviors that mystify, into worlds only they know. "Never give up.", it is difficult indeed, but this girl, Carly, is showing us another way to follow that most difficult path. And the rewards are clearly great.
Peace
-Beth
Wow, this is it in a nutshell. I cannot help but think of Alex first when I see this. Granted, this girl has a much larger challenge than Alex, but challenge is challenge. It is profoundly hopeful, and also sad. "Never give up.", they say. That is much easier said than done.
My heart is cut to ribbons every day with my little guy. Every day. Cut to ribbons with fears for the future and the past. Fears that it will not turn out all right. Fears that I did things very wrong in the past that can never be undone. Fear of the darkness that gathers at the edge of consciousness and doing. Fear that we are not doing things right, right now, and will lose our way in the future. When I see behaviors that are outside of the norm, I fear he will never be truly accepted. Or, more accurately, that since he IS accepted now and has many wonderful people in his life, both little and big, perhaps that will vanish in the future. The fears gather, and multiply, and prowl just outside of my consciousness.
And then I hug my Alex. Or he gives me a kiss. Or I pick him up and give him a big snuggle. Or he shows me something, anything. Or I look at his picture, or artwork, or think of his brave little self. Any of a hundred things that happen every day, and my heart is healed. Cut by fears, healed by love. Love shining out of him, and through me too. Love of others who hold him dear in their hearts as well.
It is a rough road, having a kid with a disability. Rough indeed. But the rewards are great too. Amazing. More than one would ever expect, until you know a brave little soul like Alex. Or even one quite different. Fighting a different battle, having different challenges. All of the brave kids. Some of them still locked in. Locked into their challenges, into behaviors that mystify, into worlds only they know. "Never give up.", it is difficult indeed, but this girl, Carly, is showing us another way to follow that most difficult path. And the rewards are clearly great.
Peace
-Beth
Friday, May 27, 2011
Deer Attack
Holy Smokes, my dog could have died.
There I was, enjoying a beautiful walk along a creek in Duluth, Minnesota, in the heart of a city neighborhood. My dog, a fluffy border collie, and my friends little mix dog, got scent of a deer. This happens a lot in Duluth because we are overrun with them, to the point that they are almost vermin. Ask any gardener, or person who has struck one with a car or bicycle, they are a hazard. Little did I know what a hazard.
So, there I was, trying to call my dog off the scent. I had seen the deers tail, and it was only about 20 feet away through thickish brush. I hoped I could call Jack off, rather than the deer running forever and having to wait for him to give up and come back. There were no roads for several blocks, so I figured it was safe enough. Little did I realize that the deer was psycho.
The little dog came back, but Jack did not. I put a bell on him for just such a situation, and I could hear that he was quite close. Next thing I knew, the deer was back. And Jack was on it's heels. Then the deer turned towards him, and I figured he would run. He did, but only a little way and then circled back. Next thing I know the deer is charging him. CHARGING, like it wants to kill him. He scooted off a bit, but circled around again. At this point I was getting seriously worried and seriously involved. The little dog had the sense to ditch out on this situation, and was safely in her owners arms. Not my dog, he was hanging in there for no reason I could figure out. She was charging, he was dodging, and then he was going back for more. I was flummoxed. What you have to realize is that my dog is a total wimp. He is scared by every dog he meets, as well as puppies, and even bunnies. He has never attacked anything in his life, beyond a mad dash at a squirrel, and why he picked this moment for glory I will never know.
So there they are, charging, dodging, and finally faced off only about 15 feet from me. And my dog is not doing the intelligent thing, as a 200 lb animal with very sharp hooves and a manic look in it's eye stares him down. He's looking like he is going to run at it again, and she's looking like her dearest ambition is to put a hoof through his skull. I had already been yelling to him to come, and now I started yelling at her to go. I ran off the path and into the brush, waving my arms, swearing, and telling the deer to go away. Okay, I suppose I was screaming at the deer. And at my dog. I recall calling him stupid, and telling him to come, once again. He crouched down, which was good, and she looked at me with that same skull crushing look, which was BAD. Having never been scared of deer before, I decided not to start now, and raised my arms over my head while making loud, slow progress towards her. She still did not move and kept giving me that look. Fortunately for me and the dog he decided to slink a bit closer to me, and while keeping any eye on her I grabbed him, leashed him, and dragged him out of there. She still did not run, and still kept looking at us with attack mode in her eyes. We left, she stayed. And I began to figure out if my dog had gotten hoofed in all the charging and dodging. I didn't think so because there had been no yelping or whimpering, and he is a big yelper and whimperer. But still, he has a lot of fur, and she was right on top of him, so a ways further down the trail I stopped to assess him fully. No injuries. No getting off the leash either, for a long long time.
So, now it is mental assessment time. It was a strange situation. One I have never run across before, and I've met lots of deer. My guess is there was a fawn hidden around there somewhere, or maybe even two, since she was so pissed and the travel pattern of dogs and deer was very random. That seems the most likely scenario, the other being that she had some form of deer rabies. There was no foam at her mouth, and she looked VERY healthy. I am going to go with option number one. But who knows, the herd in town has gotten so huge and out-of-control, maybe they've just decided they own the place. Whatever the answer is, I will probably never know. But what I do know is that my dog, my sweet, shy, intelligent dog, is not getting off his leash for a very long time.
There I was, enjoying a beautiful walk along a creek in Duluth, Minnesota, in the heart of a city neighborhood. My dog, a fluffy border collie, and my friends little mix dog, got scent of a deer. This happens a lot in Duluth because we are overrun with them, to the point that they are almost vermin. Ask any gardener, or person who has struck one with a car or bicycle, they are a hazard. Little did I know what a hazard.
So, there I was, trying to call my dog off the scent. I had seen the deers tail, and it was only about 20 feet away through thickish brush. I hoped I could call Jack off, rather than the deer running forever and having to wait for him to give up and come back. There were no roads for several blocks, so I figured it was safe enough. Little did I realize that the deer was psycho.
The little dog came back, but Jack did not. I put a bell on him for just such a situation, and I could hear that he was quite close. Next thing I knew, the deer was back. And Jack was on it's heels. Then the deer turned towards him, and I figured he would run. He did, but only a little way and then circled back. Next thing I know the deer is charging him. CHARGING, like it wants to kill him. He scooted off a bit, but circled around again. At this point I was getting seriously worried and seriously involved. The little dog had the sense to ditch out on this situation, and was safely in her owners arms. Not my dog, he was hanging in there for no reason I could figure out. She was charging, he was dodging, and then he was going back for more. I was flummoxed. What you have to realize is that my dog is a total wimp. He is scared by every dog he meets, as well as puppies, and even bunnies. He has never attacked anything in his life, beyond a mad dash at a squirrel, and why he picked this moment for glory I will never know.
So there they are, charging, dodging, and finally faced off only about 15 feet from me. And my dog is not doing the intelligent thing, as a 200 lb animal with very sharp hooves and a manic look in it's eye stares him down. He's looking like he is going to run at it again, and she's looking like her dearest ambition is to put a hoof through his skull. I had already been yelling to him to come, and now I started yelling at her to go. I ran off the path and into the brush, waving my arms, swearing, and telling the deer to go away. Okay, I suppose I was screaming at the deer. And at my dog. I recall calling him stupid, and telling him to come, once again. He crouched down, which was good, and she looked at me with that same skull crushing look, which was BAD. Having never been scared of deer before, I decided not to start now, and raised my arms over my head while making loud, slow progress towards her. She still did not move and kept giving me that look. Fortunately for me and the dog he decided to slink a bit closer to me, and while keeping any eye on her I grabbed him, leashed him, and dragged him out of there. She still did not run, and still kept looking at us with attack mode in her eyes. We left, she stayed. And I began to figure out if my dog had gotten hoofed in all the charging and dodging. I didn't think so because there had been no yelping or whimpering, and he is a big yelper and whimperer. But still, he has a lot of fur, and she was right on top of him, so a ways further down the trail I stopped to assess him fully. No injuries. No getting off the leash either, for a long long time.
So, now it is mental assessment time. It was a strange situation. One I have never run across before, and I've met lots of deer. My guess is there was a fawn hidden around there somewhere, or maybe even two, since she was so pissed and the travel pattern of dogs and deer was very random. That seems the most likely scenario, the other being that she had some form of deer rabies. There was no foam at her mouth, and she looked VERY healthy. I am going to go with option number one. But who knows, the herd in town has gotten so huge and out-of-control, maybe they've just decided they own the place. Whatever the answer is, I will probably never know. But what I do know is that my dog, my sweet, shy, intelligent dog, is not getting off his leash for a very long time.
Monday, April 11, 2011
The Autism Superhighway
I wrote a post awhile back about being stuck. Being stuck with the Autism aspects of our son, feeling like there was no progress in key areas. Well, at the time I posted I was getting un-stuck, and we have now been driving down back roads at a good pace. I have had a feeling of making progress, and life with Alex has continued in it's amazing and sweet way. Things may be getting a lot faster soon.
There is a book that I call my autism bible. It is titled Overcoming Autism: Finding the Answers, Strategies, and Hope That Can Transform a Child's Life. It is miraculous, but it is not a miracle cure. It is research based and driven, and it contains a whole host of concepts and ways of dealing with the behaviors and deficits of autism that results in massive developmental gains. Basically how to catch up with his peers, and how to stay with them, rather than living in a separate and isolated world. I have read and implemented strategies from this line of research for years, and feel it is a very grounded and sound. The results have been excellent for us. Helping us address problematic behaviors of the past, such as biting, hitting, and refusals of most things, as well as helping Alex to learn key communications abilities. But reading the research and implementing it all in isolation has been daunting, and Alex keeps changing so there are always new challenges. Alex's development has been steady yet uneven and seems rather slow.
We may soon have an opportunity to jump on a superhighway. The Autism Superhighway. The Overcoming Autism book was written by a researcher. That researcher, and her research husband, Lynn and Robert Keogel, have an Autism Center in California. That Center offers intensive clinics for entire families, to learn how to implement their program and hit the key areas of motivation, initiations, and self-regulation. It is a form of Applied Behavioral Analysis, with lots of twists and lots of fun. It is not drill therapy. The Remote Family Program would consist of a thorough assessment of where Alex is at, as well as super charging our ability as parents to implement fun strategies to move his development along. Five days on the campus of University of California- Santa Barbara, with five hours of therapy, training, and education a day. It is for Alex, and my husband Kevin, and myself, and we could also take any interested professionals with us. It would be intense, expensive, and worth every penny. There is also long term follow up, and support. Plus we would likely go through the program with other families with kids at the same level as Alex. Wow.
My head is spinning over the whole thing, and my brain throws up a whole host of road block and fears, but in my heart it just feels right. Kevin is all for it, and we are in contact with the Center as they formulate their summer schedule. I don't know how this is all going to work out, but am super excited to do what I can to make it happen. More updates will come along as we hear back from the Center.
It is funny how things come along when you least expect it. I have been focusing in other areas and then this arrives, as if on the wings of an angel. We will follow where it leads, and try to keep up the good work in all other areas as well. Wish us luck!
There is a book that I call my autism bible. It is titled Overcoming Autism: Finding the Answers, Strategies, and Hope That Can Transform a Child's Life. It is miraculous, but it is not a miracle cure. It is research based and driven, and it contains a whole host of concepts and ways of dealing with the behaviors and deficits of autism that results in massive developmental gains. Basically how to catch up with his peers, and how to stay with them, rather than living in a separate and isolated world. I have read and implemented strategies from this line of research for years, and feel it is a very grounded and sound. The results have been excellent for us. Helping us address problematic behaviors of the past, such as biting, hitting, and refusals of most things, as well as helping Alex to learn key communications abilities. But reading the research and implementing it all in isolation has been daunting, and Alex keeps changing so there are always new challenges. Alex's development has been steady yet uneven and seems rather slow.
We may soon have an opportunity to jump on a superhighway. The Autism Superhighway. The Overcoming Autism book was written by a researcher. That researcher, and her research husband, Lynn and Robert Keogel, have an Autism Center in California. That Center offers intensive clinics for entire families, to learn how to implement their program and hit the key areas of motivation, initiations, and self-regulation. It is a form of Applied Behavioral Analysis, with lots of twists and lots of fun. It is not drill therapy. The Remote Family Program would consist of a thorough assessment of where Alex is at, as well as super charging our ability as parents to implement fun strategies to move his development along. Five days on the campus of University of California- Santa Barbara, with five hours of therapy, training, and education a day. It is for Alex, and my husband Kevin, and myself, and we could also take any interested professionals with us. It would be intense, expensive, and worth every penny. There is also long term follow up, and support. Plus we would likely go through the program with other families with kids at the same level as Alex. Wow.
My head is spinning over the whole thing, and my brain throws up a whole host of road block and fears, but in my heart it just feels right. Kevin is all for it, and we are in contact with the Center as they formulate their summer schedule. I don't know how this is all going to work out, but am super excited to do what I can to make it happen. More updates will come along as we hear back from the Center.
It is funny how things come along when you least expect it. I have been focusing in other areas and then this arrives, as if on the wings of an angel. We will follow where it leads, and try to keep up the good work in all other areas as well. Wish us luck!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Winter into Spring
As winter turns into spring around here, everything seems topsy-turvy. Letting go of the long winter, and trying to look forward to the spring and summer, has brought on some regrets and much musings. I regret that I did not embrace the winter fully, even though it was excellent for skiing and outdoor pursuits. I let my fitness go and am now clawing my way back to where I was last October. Geez Louise, if only I had just kept going a bit with fitness... I am in the messy middle of our Financial Peace University class. Really coming to grips with where we are financially, and all the decisions that have led to this very spot. Yikes, that is not very fun... Thinking about our business I consider all that we have not done for that as well; budgeting, planning, and general management. Sigh.... My work has been particularly challenging lately, as we are chronically short staffed, sometimes three or four short. And while this has led to good decisions for picking up extra shifts, I have not felt like I have been doing a great job while juggling all the extra duties. Plus the acuity has been high, and my last shift had me dealing with a violent offender, which is never fun. Harumpff.... I am looking forward to warm weather and activities, but nervous about the time and skill needed to finally complete the long awaited attic project. What if I do all my parts wrong...
That's about it and those are the major brain twisters. I do always have the blessing to hang on to that my wonderful son Alex is in the best school in the whole universe. And I am married to a fantastic guy. And I have some of the best friends in the whole world. And I can back surf. Other than that, does the rest really matter?
So I try to hear the regrets, and use them to plan for the future. Learn from the mistakes and mis-steps, and move on. It is hard! But maybe hard work has it's own rewards. Spring is truly right around the corner, things will green up over the next few weeks, and as the sun gets stronger I will leave these winter blahs behind. Time to plan the garden, set up a few camping and outdoor adventures, and get to work on that attic... -Beth out
That's about it and those are the major brain twisters. I do always have the blessing to hang on to that my wonderful son Alex is in the best school in the whole universe. And I am married to a fantastic guy. And I have some of the best friends in the whole world. And I can back surf. Other than that, does the rest really matter?
So I try to hear the regrets, and use them to plan for the future. Learn from the mistakes and mis-steps, and move on. It is hard! But maybe hard work has it's own rewards. Spring is truly right around the corner, things will green up over the next few weeks, and as the sun gets stronger I will leave these winter blahs behind. Time to plan the garden, set up a few camping and outdoor adventures, and get to work on that attic... -Beth out
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Kick A** Lake Superior
I just got back from a trip to the Lake. It is 30 degrees, and blowing at about 40 miles an hour. A great day to be out! You know, I sometimes wonder just why I live in Duluth. Between 20 below zero temperatures, a fair amount of gray, cloudy days, two mud seasons, and bugs in the summer, an outdoor girl can get a little down now and then. Days like today bring me back to why I love it here. There are unique opportunities that you just don't find many other places.
The lake has ice ridges right now. If you read my Lakeneering post, you know what I am talking about. Well, today the ridges were getting slammed by waves. The wind is up, and the waves are high. In fact they are mountainous. Mountainous waves crashing onto mountains of ice. The spray was flying so high that I first spotted it when I was driving on the highway, about six miles from the beach. An impressive and unusual display, and I had to get closer. So close, that I allowed my errands to detour me to the Tot Lot beach. Out the car, and I realized it was going to be a challenge to keep my feet, as well as keep my hat on my head. I was decked out in wool and down, in many layers, and my happy dog had his substantial fur on. Oh, for the camera I forgot.
We headed straight out to sea. Over the ice and sand, all whipped into strange shapes the weeks before. No even footing whatsoever, and wind so strong I had to lean into it. Jack, our border collie was in seventh heaven, it was like a Scottish day on crack. Not only was it blowing sideways with pelting rain bits, but every wave crash sent ice pebbles and spray into the mix. We got up on the second to last ridge line before ice met icy water, and it was a sight to behold. The waves were pounding in behind the first ridge line, and every third one would throw both spray and wave itself over the top of that ridge, washing down the back with small rivers of water and ice chunks. No one in their right mind would go there. The second ridge line was just fine, with no danger of hypothermic deluge, just the threat of slipping on sandy ice and banging a knee. I only did it once in our 45 minutes out.
I made a deal with myself a few weeks ago, that I would work hard to get out at least 30 minutes a day. Out the door, outside, out in the woods, or wind, or water. You'd think that wouldn't be so hard, considering I used to spend 10 to 24 hours a day outside. But life changes, and what once was a given can become a challenge. Today that challenge was met with a huge smile. We had fun, Jack and me, getting blown about on the ice ridge line. We went all the way to the canal, and I had the supreme pleasure of standing on the lake side of the locked canal sidewalk gate... in the lake itself, so not really breaking the rules. When they close that gate it means the waves are too dangerous for people to be on the canal sidewalk. It goes without saying that people are not supposed to be IN the lake right next to the sidewalk either, because usually you'd be swimming and in strong danger of bashing your head in on the canal sidewalk wall. Not today, as it was frozen for another 20 yards out on my side, so I stood next to the sidewalk, on the frozen solid lake. It was strange to look over the canal walls to the unfrozen channel with waves rolling through, and although it was false naughtyness, it still felt good to stand where you usually can't.
Jack had a riot playing Dog-of-All-Weather. And I remember, once again, why I live in Duluth.
This photo was taken by Sherry Rovig. It was actually a point break about 12 miles from where I was hiking called Stony Point, but it's from the right day, lake, and storm. And a beautiful pic, -Thanks Sherry!
The lake has ice ridges right now. If you read my Lakeneering post, you know what I am talking about. Well, today the ridges were getting slammed by waves. The wind is up, and the waves are high. In fact they are mountainous. Mountainous waves crashing onto mountains of ice. The spray was flying so high that I first spotted it when I was driving on the highway, about six miles from the beach. An impressive and unusual display, and I had to get closer. So close, that I allowed my errands to detour me to the Tot Lot beach. Out the car, and I realized it was going to be a challenge to keep my feet, as well as keep my hat on my head. I was decked out in wool and down, in many layers, and my happy dog had his substantial fur on. Oh, for the camera I forgot.
We headed straight out to sea. Over the ice and sand, all whipped into strange shapes the weeks before. No even footing whatsoever, and wind so strong I had to lean into it. Jack, our border collie was in seventh heaven, it was like a Scottish day on crack. Not only was it blowing sideways with pelting rain bits, but every wave crash sent ice pebbles and spray into the mix. We got up on the second to last ridge line before ice met icy water, and it was a sight to behold. The waves were pounding in behind the first ridge line, and every third one would throw both spray and wave itself over the top of that ridge, washing down the back with small rivers of water and ice chunks. No one in their right mind would go there. The second ridge line was just fine, with no danger of hypothermic deluge, just the threat of slipping on sandy ice and banging a knee. I only did it once in our 45 minutes out.
I made a deal with myself a few weeks ago, that I would work hard to get out at least 30 minutes a day. Out the door, outside, out in the woods, or wind, or water. You'd think that wouldn't be so hard, considering I used to spend 10 to 24 hours a day outside. But life changes, and what once was a given can become a challenge. Today that challenge was met with a huge smile. We had fun, Jack and me, getting blown about on the ice ridge line. We went all the way to the canal, and I had the supreme pleasure of standing on the lake side of the locked canal sidewalk gate... in the lake itself, so not really breaking the rules. When they close that gate it means the waves are too dangerous for people to be on the canal sidewalk. It goes without saying that people are not supposed to be IN the lake right next to the sidewalk either, because usually you'd be swimming and in strong danger of bashing your head in on the canal sidewalk wall. Not today, as it was frozen for another 20 yards out on my side, so I stood next to the sidewalk, on the frozen solid lake. It was strange to look over the canal walls to the unfrozen channel with waves rolling through, and although it was false naughtyness, it still felt good to stand where you usually can't.
Jack had a riot playing Dog-of-All-Weather. And I remember, once again, why I live in Duluth.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Mo' Money
Time to talk about money again. I have blogged about money a fair amount, and set a goal last year to teach a money class some day. Well, that day has come. We have been teaching the class for over a month now and it has been great. The class is called Financial Peace University. Financial Peace, two words that don't go together. But really, they can. You just have to be weird. Never one to worry about that, I have been embracing the weirdness of coming to terms with money for a long time now.
I found my first Dave Ramsey book almost a decade ago. Financial Peace. It had a hopeful message and sound principals. Most money books are hard to read, but not this one. Hard to do, yes. But not hard to read. I read it first back in '02 and got inspired. We got on the envelope system, started tracking expenses, and worked to live below our means while cutting out credit. Somewhere between '05 and '07 Kevin shot our last credit card. Yes, I said "shot". He canceled the account once it was completely paid off, confirmed that it was indeed a closed account, hung up the phone, and shot the card twice. Then he mounted it like a deer, with antlers and everything. It hangs in our living room today.
We got the principals down, but the actual doing ALL of it has come slowly. Dave does a seven step plan, and we languished on step two (pay off all debt but business and home) for about eight years. March of last year we paid off my student loan, which was our last personal debt, and we were finally done with step two. Yahoo! It felt amazing. So amazing that I got serious about sharing it with others, and my pastor liked my hair brained idea too. Kevin was more than willing to go along with it, so through our church we are teaching our first Financial Peace University class. This has really upped our game, because now we have to do everything for real. All the parts of the plan, including income planning, asset management, and the dreaded budgeting. We have half budgeted for a long time, knowing mostly where our cash is going, but not keeping an eye on the income, or planning ahead for future expenses. Christmas has snuck up on us every year. And we never had a real car repair fund, even though it is guaranteed we will have breakdowns with the age vehicles we drive. "Let's just hope for the best" ain't gonna cut it any more and we sat down to hammer out a real budget last month and this month. It was scary at first, but has already gotten easier. We are finally getting a handle on complete budgeting, and it is actually quite liberating. Really. I swear. It is so liberating we will be doing it every month. Told you I was weird. But hey, average means broke, so I am totally going for weird.
And now we are about to knock out step three. With our upcoming tax refunds we are going to completely fund our 3-6 month Emergency Fund. We had been worried about whether or not we would get a refund (due to poor budgeting we didn't really know), and then trying to wiggle out of doing the right thing. But through the complete budgeting process we have seen where we stand, and it helped clarify where we really want to go. Trips are nice, but life goals are better. We are going to complete the Emergency Fund first, then go on to a few little goals with what is left while leaving our budget in good shape for the rest of the year. Christmas will NOT sneak up on us this year. We are setting up appropriate savings (like for the car) and now have income goals to shoot for to keep our budget where we want it, and to build it for the future. We are managing our money and telling it where to go, rather than wondering where it went. Financial Peace... it really is possible. Next comes climbing step four, Retirement Funding and planning. Not as scary as it used to be, and now way less likely to sneak up on us. Well, that's it from the money desk. If you have been wondering where I have been, now you know. Money land. Happy financing, people!
I found my first Dave Ramsey book almost a decade ago. Financial Peace. It had a hopeful message and sound principals. Most money books are hard to read, but not this one. Hard to do, yes. But not hard to read. I read it first back in '02 and got inspired. We got on the envelope system, started tracking expenses, and worked to live below our means while cutting out credit. Somewhere between '05 and '07 Kevin shot our last credit card. Yes, I said "shot". He canceled the account once it was completely paid off, confirmed that it was indeed a closed account, hung up the phone, and shot the card twice. Then he mounted it like a deer, with antlers and everything. It hangs in our living room today.
We got the principals down, but the actual doing ALL of it has come slowly. Dave does a seven step plan, and we languished on step two (pay off all debt but business and home) for about eight years. March of last year we paid off my student loan, which was our last personal debt, and we were finally done with step two. Yahoo! It felt amazing. So amazing that I got serious about sharing it with others, and my pastor liked my hair brained idea too. Kevin was more than willing to go along with it, so through our church we are teaching our first Financial Peace University class. This has really upped our game, because now we have to do everything for real. All the parts of the plan, including income planning, asset management, and the dreaded budgeting. We have half budgeted for a long time, knowing mostly where our cash is going, but not keeping an eye on the income, or planning ahead for future expenses. Christmas has snuck up on us every year. And we never had a real car repair fund, even though it is guaranteed we will have breakdowns with the age vehicles we drive. "Let's just hope for the best" ain't gonna cut it any more and we sat down to hammer out a real budget last month and this month. It was scary at first, but has already gotten easier. We are finally getting a handle on complete budgeting, and it is actually quite liberating. Really. I swear. It is so liberating we will be doing it every month. Told you I was weird. But hey, average means broke, so I am totally going for weird.
And now we are about to knock out step three. With our upcoming tax refunds we are going to completely fund our 3-6 month Emergency Fund. We had been worried about whether or not we would get a refund (due to poor budgeting we didn't really know), and then trying to wiggle out of doing the right thing. But through the complete budgeting process we have seen where we stand, and it helped clarify where we really want to go. Trips are nice, but life goals are better. We are going to complete the Emergency Fund first, then go on to a few little goals with what is left while leaving our budget in good shape for the rest of the year. Christmas will NOT sneak up on us this year. We are setting up appropriate savings (like for the car) and now have income goals to shoot for to keep our budget where we want it, and to build it for the future. We are managing our money and telling it where to go, rather than wondering where it went. Financial Peace... it really is possible. Next comes climbing step four, Retirement Funding and planning. Not as scary as it used to be, and now way less likely to sneak up on us. Well, that's it from the money desk. If you have been wondering where I have been, now you know. Money land. Happy financing, people!
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